Jun. 16th, 2012

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I had such strange dreams last night.

I woke up feeling like I'd had an awful night the night (or even day) before and had behaved badly and gotten myself in countless awkward situations that I'd rather just erase from my memory - and that wouldn't be unheard of. Sometimes I wake up feeling that way because the previous night or entire day really WAS awful, emotionally trying, and full of me just trying to get through it and not come apart or do anything I'd regret even more, and hoping people would just forget me or at least forgive me for whatever weird and unacceptable thing I'd done. I feel like this a lot when I wake up after getting drunk the night before.

Thing is - I DID drink last night. I didn't drink a whole lot, and I didn't do anything stupid or behave badly or even do anything embarrassingly awkward. It was an odd night - I went to a bar with sand on the floor - YES REALLY, this is not part of the strange dreams, there was a bar with a floor full of sand, and there were even plastic buckets and shovels around for digging in the sand! There was a fight at the bar involving blood and broken glass and we left before the police came. That was all real life.

My dreams )

In real life a really cute girl was flirting with me at a bar with sand on the floor. She kept pointing to her shirt and to my shirt - I thought she was crazy but actually I was wearing somebody else's shirt and it was the same print as her shirt, and I had momentarily forgotten that. I don't know if the people I went with knew her or if she was just very friendly or what, but all night she seemed to be singling me out and would wave at me and smile and make faces and beckon me to come out on the dance floor with her or even come right up to me and dance in front of me and... I just didn't know what to do. There was sand on the floor, and I didn't know who she was, and the bar was so loud I couldn't hear what anyone was saying.

I drank instant iced coffee made with coconut water instead of tap water this morning. My coffee machine is still broken and I still haven't replaced it. I might have preferred the coffee and coconut water separate though, it ended up a very strange flavor but definitely made me feel good. Maybe its because the instant coffee was lightly sweetened, and it clashed with the natural sweetness of the coconut water? I don't know. What a weird day already.

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Lara I.

October 2012

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