Jul. 29th, 2012

Ok Wow

Jul. 29th, 2012 12:33 pm
exhilaration: (Default)
So, I have said numerous times that I don't like to talk to random strangers, because they always say exasperating things to me. I could give examples, but today I won't (maybe another day tho)

So today, I'm at the drugstore and I look up for a split second, and there is a guy walking in my direction. I don't really want to make eye contact. He's wearing sunglasses indoors (how cool...) and I can't see if he's making eye contact at me or what. I look at him briefly, and his expression does not change, so I assume he did NOT make eye contact with me and we are just going to civilly pass each other and be on our ways. Or, wait, no, he has that look like he's going to talk to me. Yep, we're not going to pass. He's coming right up to me. Oh man, what is it going to be this time? He's a guy, about my age, real slick dresser... he's not going to try to get my number or something is he? Like, follow me around and pest me and tell me "don't be shy" and all that shit? He's got the "question" look. He's about to ask me SOMETHING. I can tell.

"Excuse me," he says. I KNEW IT. He's asking me something. He holds his hand, cupped, right under my face. "Have you seen this?"

ITS A GIANT RUBBER FLY.

YES REALLY!

I look up at him, and he's shaking his head, looking disappointed. "Sorry," he says. "I was so sure I was going to get you with this, but nah." And he starts walking away, appearing to be considering himself a complete failure.

THEN I laugh. OMG SERIOUSLY? A GIANT RUBBER FLY? WHAT THE... WHAT?

I tried to make sure he could hear me laughing. I don't want to ruin his day by not reacting to his fly. But, I mean, WHO DOES THAT? And WHY?

For the record, this is why I'm not a good driver. Normal people would be like OMG BUG! and scream or jump or at least gasp. Me? I'm like huh wait are you showing me something? OH. FLY!

To add to the bizarreness of my time in the drugstore, I had a pregnancy test in my lap. Cause I haven't had a period in a while. Last time I did, it was like a MONSTER period, but that was um... before Memorial Day. It's the end of July. I am usually very regular. I even remained regular when I had surgery last summer, and that's not really to be expected, usually if you do something horrible to yourself (like torture the most useful joints in your body - BOTH OF THEM) it would be reasonable to expect your period could stop, or become irregular at least. Nope. Not mine. I actually use counting as a form of birth control. (I'll save you the suspense right now - I am not pregnant) I only use a barrier half the time - the half that I am fertile. I don't use anything when I'm not, and I trust that method because I'm always so regular (and I never, ever wondered hmmm... oh, could I be pregnant???) and while it makes no difference to me, my boyfriend likes sex better without a condom and thinks it's awesome that I'm often like, yep, go ahead, don't bother with it, lets just get on with it.

So... I've missed two periods, which is not at all normal for me. And... my stomach looks pregnant. Yes it really does. I am not just saying that. It's not a "food baby" or whatever, either. It's all times of the day, from all angles. If I suck it in, it still looks pregnant. Not that I want to be pregnant (nor do I have any other signs of being pregnant - I am not out of breath abnormally, I am not getting mysterious headaches, I am not feeling sick in the mornings, craving weird foods, etc - yes I googled this - and - I also googled THIS - I don't think a baby is visible after just two months, even in a person with weak abdominals) but I'm not really thrilled with the conclusion that no, Lara, that's just what your body looks like.

But at least some random dude stuck a rubber fly in my face while I was trying to nonchalantly hold a pregnancy test...

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Lara I.

October 2012

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