exhilaration: (Default)
The Stupid Work Shoes Saga Continues

So. Tonight at work I said something to Vicky, my GM, about how I went out and got black shoes at Rich, the other manager's, request. She said she knew full well I wasn't wearing "regulation" shoes and was totally unconcerned about it. In other words, I really don't need to wear non-slip shoes and Rich was just being an asshole to me. She said she was willing to let my shoes go and that it wasn't a major concern because I don't go in the kitchen. Just like I originally said. So I'm pissed.

Attention Car Owners: Gimme Advice

Ok, so, what do I do if my car freezes shut? Really. It's not so much that I don't know how to drive - I do know how to drive. I have a license and everything. Yes, I did wreck a car, but I'm not going to repeat that situation again. It's just that I don't know how to be a driver. I drove for a few months when I was a teenager - and I had my parents breathing down my neck the whole time. I drove for maybe six months when I lived with my mom when she was sick - that's pretty much it. So, excuse me for not being the expert.

What do I do if my car door freezes shut? Last night after work I just went back inside the restaurant and got a cup of hot water from the coffee machine and poured it on the door. And if I wasn't somewhere with a coffee machine? Then what would I do? And what about when the lock is frozen? I scorched my key with a lighter - is that going to eventually mess up my key, or is that the correct solution?

And... my tires. So, I had a flat tire. Cause I ran smack into the side of the curb. Are new tires automatically going to lose a little air, and I just need to put more air in them and they'll be fine, or when I blew my tire out did it mess up the wheel somehow and the new tire is going to go flat too? Cause my tire is halfway to flat again. Normal, or no?

My Harry Potter Fic Is Freakin' Awesome

I've got about thirty Word pages of random scenes from this fic I've imagined. I'm... kinda starting to obsess over this, but, at the same time, I've been on the off-side of the HP fandom for so long and it's been a long while since I've read the actual books, that my canon knowledge is hazy at best. So it's official, I am doing a series re-read. I don't own the books - I don't own many books at all, cause I move too much and books are a pain to lug around. But I do drive (see, there was a reason I shelled out the money for this car insurance nonsense) so I can go sit in the bookstore and read them. Meaning instead of sitting around in my awful house, I can sit around in the bookstore. With a purpose. So... maybe I'll post my re-read observations. That's be cool, eh?

Worst Girlfriend EVAR

So, being that it's winter, B's other job, which in the summer is landscaping, is now snow removal. He still works for the same guy, he just does a slightly different job. And since there's been a lot of snow... well, he's been pretty sore and tired. And I give a decent massage if I do say so myself. I don't much like to get massages - I'm not very comfortable with anyone putting their hands all over me. It takes me a while to actually relax and enjoy it, if I ever actually get to the part where I just relax in the first place. But I'm always sore and tired too, pretty much, so B and I spent the day just laying around at his house and watching Dating On Demand. Yes really. We just sat there watching all the videos and commenting on who we would and would not go out with, why, and what kind of date it would be and what our expectations would be and etc.

So... yeah. I discuss dating others completely without reservations... with my boyfriend. Yeah. Yep. Go on and on about who is and isn't my type and who is a good date for fun and who is a good date for a few months and who I'd fall head over heels with... who am I kidding? Are we really boyfriend and girlfriend, or what? I dunno. It didn't seem odd at the time, not at all, not one bit. But it kinda does now. Well... whatever, I guess. Neither of us is lying to the other, so... I guess we're doing it right?
exhilaration: (Harry Potter)
I did. I really did. I spent all day writing away at a piece of Harry Potter fanfiction... what is the world coming to?

Well, whatever, at least I'm doing something I like, right, even if it isn't worthwhile.

I miss my other house. I don't feel very attached to this one.
exhilaration: (Harry Potter)
I dunno why I have to be the kind of person who is just pulled every which way - some people know what they want in life and go for it, and some people kind of go where life takes them, and CERTAIN OTHER PEOPLE (like me) always feel like they should be doing something else.

You know, people identify what they're good at and what they have a passion for, and focus their lives on that... even if their passion is snowboarding, like my cousin Ryan - no one would say he's particularly successful, I mean, he didn't do well in school, never went to college, never had a "real" job (but did plenty of odd jobs all over the place) but still, he knows what he wants from life and goes for it. He's got something driving him, he's got his big plans, he's got it all worked out.

I don't know what I'm good at or what I have a passion for except for what's become a very vague and unreliable notion that I'm very intelligent. I mean, I am very intelligent, and half the time, I feel like keeping this fact a secret. Truth is, when I was a kid, I was tested and found to be completely off the charts. When I was in elementary school I didn't have to sit through class with the other kids, I got to go to a special program with only five of us and we got to study whatever we wanted, as long as someone was supervising us and making sure, you know, that we were actually working on stuff and not screwing around or something. By the time I was in third grade I could read anything and did, including Crime and Punishment and yes, I understood it. I took my SATs when I was in seventh grade and scored a 1570, so, yes, I really truly am that intelligent. I say this is vague and unreliable because, come on, where has all this intelligence gotten me besides utterly dissatisfied with everything I encounter?

I dropped out of high school, which I think was a good choice and I'd do it again. But I also dropped out of college, which... I mean, I know why I did it at the time. I just wish I hadn't. I wish things had been different, way different and I could have finished. Cause I feel like my poor brain is just rotting away here. I don't want to sound stuck up, but, not only am I smarter than pretty much every one I encounter, where I am now and working where I do I feel like I'm on some other planet. So no, I don't want anyone to know that I ever even went to college, and no, I don't want anyone to know how smart I really am, because that gets me the immediate response of "WELL THEN WHY ARE YOU EVEN HERE, GO DO SOMETHING WORTHWHILE WITH YOUR LIFE!"

What's worthwhile, anyway? I'd do it if I could figure out what it was, I swear.

I think this has a lot to do with why I wanted to be a teacher, I think I figured, well, if I don't know what I want to do for me, then, instead of being a useless lump, I'll do what I can for someone else.

And here I am a useless lump.

What brought this on? Oh well, ever since I read that massive Harry Potter fanfic by Cassandra Claire, I've been wanting to write my own - I can write my own Draco fanfic and plagiarize none of it and it'll prolly be just as good as hers... right? (I dunno about that, I hardly ever write anymore, but I think I'd enjoy trying) So I've decided to do a HP re-read and take copious notes along the way for my big massive fic project - oh, if only I could have harnessed this ambition, you know, in school because as much as I love fanfic, as much as I think the community element is amazing and without compare... really, who reads fanfic? It's not something you can really tell anyone and expect any kind of credibility. What do you do? Oh well right now I'm writing a Harry Potter fanfiction... yeah, no, not really. Might as well say, "oh, I'm writing a novel," as so many wannabe-authors do, only, yeah, when you meet that one person who says "oh I'd love to read it!" um, what are you going to show them? Your HP fic?

Yeah.
exhilaration: (Harry Potter)
Right right right right right.

So. I was cruising Amazon looking for books I want to read. Came across City of Bones. Thought, yeah, that's something I'd like! My opinion of it, from the description, was that it was probably better than Twilight (which I didn't like and couldn't finish - I prefer my vampires a little more Anne Rice, thanks). I like YA fiction and I like modern fantasy, and it seemed to have a lot of elements I'm drawn to.

Then, of course, I noticed who wrote it. Cassandra Clare, who is Cassandra Claire on the internet. Now, I know who she is cause I follow internet drama like it's my job or something. I love Harry Potter but I loved Harry Potter more several years ago, before the series ended. I didn't read much Harry Potter fanfiction, just a lot of fan-made theories about how the series was going to end. But I still knew who Cassie Claire was and that there was a huge drama about her plagiarizing her work from other novels and TV series. So I was disgusted with her, and never read her fics, and probably wouldn't have read them anyway.

Well then, I got really curious. So, it took me several nights of reading, but I did read through her massive trilogy of novel-length fics. AndIreallylikedthem.

I did. I'll admit it. And... I get that she might not have been everyone's favorite person (although she had a lot of fans) but... I don't really see her work as plagiarized. She used quotes from TV shows a lot, which I've read in other fanfics before and thought was funny, like a friendly little wave to other fandoms, or whatever. Sometimes I think she over-quoted, as in, the quotes were so over done it took her characters a little... out of character. But I don't really see that as plagiarism. Maybe lazy, or maybe just resourceful. She probably wanted to have a witty character and isn't that creative, and so threw in a bunch of quotes.

Other than that, though, her writing is really good. All the twists and all the characters and all the fantasy elements and everything went together really well and it really was like reading a real novel. I enjoyed it. It was a really good read and a really, really interesting look at how the actual series didn't go. CC doesn't really write like JK, but she included enough elements of the original series that it wasn't glaring. Ok, so, she wrote much more purple than JK, but it's fanfic, and that's what fanfic writers do, pretty much. Goblet of Fire is my favorite HP book and the end of GOF is where CC started her fic.

And I have to say... I didn't like the way Deathly Hallows ended. I thought the epilogue was total crap and I was disgusted by it... to nice and neat and perfect and I was like whyyyyyyyyy would anyone do that to a perfectly wonderful series? In CC's universe... in the end, after evil was destroyed, the characters all went off to discover their own lives without a villian to fight. It was really quite poetic. I'm not saying CC is better than JK. I'm just saying that perhaps she made one better choice in writing. That's all. And that I enjoyed her three "alternate" books.

But now... I still don't know if I want to read City of Bones. I hear she lifted entire parts of her HP fic and incorporated them in her novel. I dunno... I can even see why she would do that, I mean, if it was really good writing, why not use it where it can actually be shared beyond the internet? But then again, why not just write something new? On one hand, I don't really understand why she used her HP pen name to publish her book. Why, if she's really serious about being a fantasy writer, would she be okay with associating herself with a fanfic writer? I'm pretty sure other published authors write fanfic, under a different name, and the two identities are never connected and no one is the wiser. After all, fanfic is just for fun, isn't it? But I guess it's because she caused such a stir with all her plagiarism drama that her name became well known, and that's how she got published in the first place - cause she already had a fan base.

I dunno. They say Picasso's friends never let him in their studios, cause he would see what they were doing and then do it better. Is that plagiarism?

I wanna read City of Bones kinda like how you see something really awful, like roadkill or something, and you know it's gonna be disgusting, but you check it out anyway... I LIKED her fanfic. But I'm afraid her published novel is gonna be like her fanfic re-written as something original. That's kinda like roadkill... right?

WAT

Dec. 21st, 2008 08:04 pm
exhilaration: (Harry Potter)
As I said, WAT?


Cassandra Clare? As in, Cassandra Claire, the Harry Potter BNF who plagiarized the decent parts of her fics?

Yes. That Cassandra Claire.

And I thought the book looked good, too...
exhilaration: (Default)
So, I, ah, wrote a story yesterday and today. It's not 50,000 words, though, so I guess I can't call it my NaNo story, unless I want to keep writing new parts to it. We'll see.

I did watch the last to episodes of "Life On Mars" and I have to say, it didn't end the way I expected it to. If you haven't watched the series, don't click this cause I'll spoil you )

Somehow I got on a little mini-Inuyasha kick - I think because the story I wrote was set in the late nineties-early millennium, so I was trying to think of what kind of stuff was on my mind around then. Well, there was Inuyasha, wasn't there? Before it was a TV show, it was a picture book, being scanlated and transcribed over the internet. Believe me, I've had my head in Inuyasha from the very beginning. I remember when the TV show first aired in Japan how I was so excited to watch a download that I had trouble restraining myself from just watching it unsubbed since I didn't want to wait any longer than I had to. Um, I speak no Japanese. From watching anime I've learned such words as "wait" and "may I?" and "stupid" and "school" and oh, brother and sister and mother and father and cat and dog and (obviously, from Inuyasha) demon and wind scar and stuff, and (obviously, from FMA) alchemy and equivalent trade. But that doesn't count, and it does no good when trying to watch a TV show anyway.

I continue to ramble about anime for a bit... )

I also had this idea that I'd try to find this Inuyasha fanfic I read a few years ago on ff.net. I remembered finding it kind of immature (not a surprise in that fandom) but oddly compelling, well paced, and unfinished. Maybe, just maybe, the author had actually finished the fic? And maybe I could actually track it down again? Well, I found it. I found it by searching ff.net for M rated stories greater than 40,000 words, because those were the specifications I remembered searching before. And there it was. On page four, or something. Clear description - that was definitely the fic.

And here I go on about fanfic and fandom )

When I write stuff I get really involved in it. I kind of pour out everything I've got. All my experiences. All my knowledge. All my dreams and desires and so on. Of course it's all fiction - of course I'm not writing my autobiography or something. To a stranger, it would just be a story, and that's fine. But I hesitate to show anything I write to anyone I know in real life, because I feel like it gives them a view a little deeper into who I am than I'd like them to have. It's like I'm afraid of anyone making any connections between a story and my real emotions/experiences/opinions. I wouldn't let people I know read my diary, if I kept one. And that's kind of the same way I feel about stories. It's just too personal.

Today has been a weird day. It's been a weird couple of days. No, it's been a weird week. Well, really, it's been a weird month.

Or maybe it's just been a weird day. Maybe I've had so much time to myself and absolutely no contact with anyone else (except Erica yesterday morning) that it's given me this odd perspective of myself and my life. But after I dragged myself out of Inuyasha-world, I kind of looked through my journal and was like, WHAT? Really, I went on a blind date? Really, I went to a wedding as someone's date? Really, I just put all that personal stuff ON THE INTERNET? Really, the Phillies won the world series? Really, Barack Obama is going to be the new president? Really, I got all cranky because I couldn't vote? Really? Really I'm stuck in the house doing nothing because I fell and my knees are swollen? Really?

Yes, apparently. Yes really.

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Lara I.

October 2012

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