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Yes, as you can tell I am very mature.

One day, perhaps, I will get over my amusement with switching the hyphen from before "ass" to after it.

Today is not that day.

Long-ass entry, my friends, for I have a lot to say. )

So now I can accuse Bevan of making me sick.

Or, I have made him sick.

Either way. Sick sucks.

And thats... what's been up.

Yep.
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After work today I went out with Erica - usually on Sundays I work the lunch shift and then hang out with Bevan - there's usually some type of game event at his place, Rock Band or Guitar Hero or MarioKart or something, but since it's been a while since I've spent time with Erica I decided to hang with her instead.

Yes, even though I'm still mad at her. What am I going to do, be like, ok, our friendship is now cancelled, leave me alone?

We "went shopping" although neither of us really shopped. It was kind of more of a "drive around and buy necessities" kind of shopping, which, since I don't drive, is still pretty useful and definitely not something I'd turn down.

I noticed, while going through my LJ tags, that whenever I write about Erica I write about Bevan too, and whenever I write about Bevan I write about Erica. Wtf, Lara? )

That's that. I'm going on not one but two dates. One on Thursday and one next month.

SUPER EXCITING.
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Yes, you read that right. I am going on a date, I really am.

How this came about is a little bit odd

OH WAIT THAT IS NOT MY BIG NEWS!

I have real actual big news that has nothing to do with going on a date:

I have money.

I have taken out a loan on my other house, because I now have the go-ahead to do what I need to do to the property. My bills for this month are all paid now. My fridge is full of groceries and... I have ordered myself a super deluxe cappuccino machine. It will be here in three to five business days :P

I have found renters for my upstairs. They're kids - they're seventeen and eighteen, three of them, two guys and one girl. Apparently people do that around here, get their own apartments when they are seniors in high school, because housing is so cheap in the wintertime. So that rent coming in will take care of... the loan payments for the first loan. What I make at the restaurant I guess will go to the rest of the bills, and if I run short, well, I have all the loan money to back me up... until that gets spent on the house... but by that time it will be next summer and I will have people renting both floors of this house and hopefully one floor of that house as well HOPEFULLY YEAH RIGHT AS IF I COULD PULL THAT OFF IN THAT AMOUNT OF TIME!

But also I am going on a date - oh wait, also there is Erica and then there's me being moody as well... )

If this was a family event instead of a friend I think I would have said no. I don't know, something about being introduced to the family as "my date" is just too bizarre for me.

I've never been to a wedding before and I'm not convinced I really want to go to this one. I don't know the people getting married - I've never even met them.

And I've had a weird, weird week. This was just the icing on the cake, really. I'm going on a date.
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So, you may have noticed I've been conspicuously missing from your flists.

No you haven't. But now that I mentioned it perhaps you do recall that I haven't been around for a few days :P

I have been being social and stuff. It's been a blast. I have a lot to say. LOTS.

Of course nothing is perfect. And before you click the cut and skip to the end, NO, nothing has changed in regards to the previous entry. I am still wallowing in mountains of sexual frustration.

But aside from that, other things have been going on. I think I lose at friends, for one thing. )

I try very hard to be happy. I take a pill for that. But I'm just always so fucking lonely. I would like not to be lonely but... sometimes I feel like my brain is just stuck that way or something. How can I be lonely at Matt's place, with Matt right there? How can I be lonely in Bevan's car, with him right there with me?

It's hard to just go for what you want most when you don't even know what it is you want to begin with, isn't it?

But I did have a very good time. And I'm back now, home, here, whatever. Still the same person. Still the same everything.
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So, a couple things I want to write about, here, one being one of the lj comms I'm on. I started a livejournal for the comms. I wrote in it, yeah, like one day a month or something, but it was really just to participate in the comms. Fandom stuff, some, and other things that just had to do with life, like art and photography and things like that. One comm I've been reading for a while is [livejournal.com profile] poor_skills (which I did mention the other day) and it can be a little infuriating how self righteous people can be about how much they're willing to sacrifice to be cheaper than everyone else in existence... but there's a lot of good information on that comm, especially for someone like me who often finds myself in situations where I'm like, uh oh, didn't expect this one, what do I do, I know, I'll call my mom, she knows, oh wait, not speaking to her, huh, wonder how I sort this one out? And so on.

So there's this girl who's been posting there a lot and it seems she's out of work because she broke her leg. Okay, so, she doesn't know what to do because she can't work because she's hurt, and she's trying to deal with having no income. Great. Okay, so [livejournal.com profile] poor_skills is a good place to get some pointers. Fine. But I've found myself, tonight, just wanting to shake her. Or at least leave her a nasty comment. Which I'm not going to do, because it's probably not a good idea, but... really? Really, she can't cook, because she's on crutches? Really? Really?

HAS IT REALLY NEVER OCCURRED TO THE GIRL TO SIT ON A DAMN STOOL?

I mean, seriously, I swear I am no type of supergimp. I am so far from that. I don't cook often, because I think it's a pain in the ass cooking for one person, and I never feel like doing the dishes anyway so my solution is just not to use them, and yes, that is called being very lazy, but... I can cook. I can cook really well. It never occurred to me to think, ok, I can't cook because I'm on crutches, I have to keep my hands on them or I fall down (her words, not mine) so I have to eat only things that don't need to be prepared, because I can't cook.

Obviously I'm just being really unsympathetic here. Which is why this is here on my personal journal and not on the comm. And yeah, pretty much all aspects of life are harder when you can't stand up on your own. But harder doesn't have to mean impossible. Really. It doesn't.

Moving along, more of the same and a little bit different, I did say I went to the beach, right? )

I really miss living near public transportation. I really, really do. I miss living in the city. I don't like having a car and I don't like driving and I'm the worst driver ever.

And that's... yeah, that's about it, that's all I got for tonight.

Oh. Oh, there is the fact that I hate my job. I really, really hate my job and I fantasize every day about telling off every stupid, condescending, self-entitled customer and then getting fired. I can't wait.
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But Gonna Post Anyway

Voice posts are so freakin' fun, aren't they?

Well I went to the beach today, yes, it's true, I really did. I just kind of decided, a few days ago, that I really, really wanted to. I live here. I used to dream about living here. I used to wish I could go to the beach any time I wanted. I don't know if I'm still going to be here next summer - I still don't have another job, I still can't get the other house properly zoned - for all I know my whole entire plan is going to go completely to shit and I'll be somewhere else doing something else entirely in another year. Somehow that made me do a complete one-eighty about going to the beach.

Erica insisted we go to her beach. Erica is a mainlander (unlike me, see, I'm an islander, that's how we talk around here) and so, for reasons completely unfathomable to me, she considers Wildwood her beach. I've been to Wildwood plenty of times. I've been on that beach maybe... once? Ages ago? But I did know that the beach is huge. I did know that. I remember that. I just forgot it.

Ok, ok, ok, so it's not really five miles from the boardwalk to the ocean. It's more like a quarter of a mile. But seriously. It's fine, though. Whatever, I don't care, so I needed help to get across the beach to where we were sitting. I should have remembered how wide the beach is in Wildwood. My bad, really. Not a big deal.

I got a suntan. I dug in the sand. Slept. Listened to music. Wore something really skimpy. Got ocean water dumped on me. My hair dried with salt water on it and looks... very strange right now. Drank Smirnoff Ice. Dug a hole in the sand for my bottle to keep it cold/hidden (no alcohol on the beach, obviously, and no glass bottles allowed either) I brushed Erica's hair.

And I totally intend to go again next week.

I guess I've finally been converted.
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I have made it my mission to attend and enjoy a baseball game sometime this year.

Right. So. Remember my entry about the Phillies game and the rain delay and the crazy fan who did a slip and slide on the tarp and then ran into the tube? Yep. Finally on youtube. I knew youtube'd come through for me! As far as I recall, though, he was wearing pants...



I still maintain the opinion, though, that had he not dove into that tube, he could have escaped security.

Damnit, now I wanna play on a giant slip-and-slide!

And speaking of shit that sounds made up... )

I'm not so much mad at Erica because she didn't show up tonight as just puzzled. She never turns off her phone so I hope she didn't like fall into the Bermuda Triangle Part Two or something. I'm kind of inclined to think she was hooking up with someone, but I have no idea how true that might be.

I guess I should go to bed now. Growing girls need their sleep, you know.

I'm so not going to bed.
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Yep. That's the problem in society today. It's Red Bull.

Makes us think we don't need to sleep.

Makes us think we can do anything.

Masquerades as a soda! A soda? More like an Angel of Light, I tell you!

Makes us go until we crash and crash until we burn...

But not me, guys. I never burn. )

I really hate how Red Bull tastes, but it isn't bad when mixed with mango vodka.

I really love how I achieved that perfect level of drunkenness.

But I think I'm swearing off the stuff anyway.
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Well, let's see. So, this was a holiday weekend (July 4th, Independence Day, if you're not American and don't immediately know which holiday I mean) and it's the busiest weekend of the whole year here at the shore. Of course I had to work. I worked at the Coffee Co on Friday morning and then worked lunch and dinner at the restaurant. So no, I didn't see any fireworks - I could easily see the Atlantic City fireworks from my house, or from the beach behind my house. But I wasn't there, I was at work, bored out of my mind, cause who eats in a restaurant on a picnic holiday?

And then Saturday I also worked at the Coffee Co, even though Saturday is not my day. It was the store in town, too - I guess some of those employees needed off for the holiday or something, and so I filled in. Thanks, of course I don't celebrate holidays or anything, geez, Renee. But Saturday night, oh, I let another host take the last part of my shift cause I had some TV to watch. Go me :P

Ah, wait, this was supposed to be stuff that ISNT Doctor Who.

On Friday Bevan asked me if I would like to go to a baseball game with him because he had an extra ticket. Now, I've said pretty many times I really don't care about sports. I don't hate sports, I'm not into sports, I simply don't care one way or the other about them. But watching live sports can be really fun, especially in Philly, because the fans are all insane. Completely and totally insane. I can say stuff like that because I'm not from Philadelphia.

But, Lara, you are in New Jersey.

Yeah well, if you don't know my area of the world very well, here's the thing about New Jersey: it sucks. North Jersey wishes they were New York, and South Jersey wishes they were Philadelphia. New Jersey doesn't have its own baseball team, either, so, it seems everyone around here is hard-core into the Phillies. The Phillies played the Mets this weekend. (The Phillies are the Philadelphia team, the Mets are the New York team, and the fans are huge rivals, see?)

So you can see, possibly, how the idea of attending this game might appeal to me, right? )

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Lara I.

October 2012

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