exhilaration: (impossible things)

Some people eat comfort food. Well, I don't really eat for comfort... but I listen to music for comfort. I mean, I listen to music all the time. I think I recently explained how central music is to my life and my thoughts... and I know I've said countless times how amazing Leonard Cohen is. I said I went to the Radiohead concert and I said how I've got all of OK Computer pretty much memorized. My LJ name is from a Foo Fighters song, and someday I'll expound on just how much Nirvana means to me. I can probably recite the entire Downward Spiral, effects and all, and I can chat on and on about my current crushes, like The Killers and Mika and Hello Saferide and Regina Spektor.

My comfort music is folk and bluegrass.

When I first moved here I really fixated on my speakers and my mp3s and playlists - I'd pretty much never lived by myself before and I was scared to death this house was going to drive me to insanity. I'd dedicate entire days to entire albums, and so on. But the music that makes me calmly happy and warm and fuzzy inside is my parents' music, music from when I was a little kid. I think I've got Ok Computer ingrained in my consciousness? Then I go back to this stuff, and it's in there even deeper. I know every word of every version and every nuance every artist who performed these tunes brought to them.

Childhood memories and stuff )

Also, from my anon meme, I learned that somebody on my flist thinks I'm a hottie :P THANKS ANON! I BET YER A HOTTIE TOO!
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Frida said she never claimed to be a surrealist; she just paints things the way they are.

Leonard said he just writes blank songs and people fill them up with whatever they want.
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Band Aid: Musicians getting together and recording a song about world hunger is about as effective as putting a bandaid over a gaping wound.

The song was recorded in 1984, same year I was born.

A short explanation of what connection Lara has to Africa anyway )

So where's the "posting only good things" in this post?

Well. I did do good things while I was there. I can hold on to that, although, it does have the feeling of a bandaid. So does buying product RED everything - I'll only pick up Starbucks if it's RED, etc. But I've recently done a lot of comparing my perspectives now to my perspectives as a teenager - I'm about to turn twenty five, and that has a lot to do with it, I'm sure - and I've realized that while I still feel that first-world guilt, I don't feel the same guilt related to depression, like how dare I?

It's a chemical imbalance. I can't just will it away by telling myself how lucky I am to be born in a first world country. It doesn't make me an ungrateful person or a spoiled person or a bad person. It's taken me a very long time to actually come to an understanding with myself about that.

But I think I have, and that's my "good thing" of the day.


exhilaration: (Default)
Lara I.

October 2012

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