And Some Other Things
May. 17th, 2008 02:15 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
exhilarationMy ex really wants to see me.
We've been comparing calendars over IM for several days now, and we've finally come up with: Wednesday night two weeks from now, with me coming back Thursday morning.
She said she'd pay for my train tickets, I told her no freakin' way, I'd buy my own, thanks. Whatever, I don't care how much money she makes now. She's not buying my damn train tickets.
Which means, of course, that I am actually going.
And for all the talking that we've been doing recently, I really can't figure out what she actually wants from me.
I know I always say "we broke up" but the reality of it is, she broke up with me. She broke up with me more than one time. And I kind of feel like, I don't want to press too hard here because I don't want her to be like, ok that's it, I don't like you, remember? So stop talking to me.
Because I like that she's talking to me again.
But I still don't really understand what she wants. Cause it's not to get back together. That will never, ever happen. That was made crystal clear many times over.
And I don't really understand what I want either. I really want to see her too. I want to see her badly enough that I'm not demanding more details from her about what she actually wants because I don't want her to change her mind. But why bother? She's not a part of my life anymore. She's a part of my past, and that's it.
We've been comparing calendars over IM for several days now, and we've finally come up with: Wednesday night two weeks from now, with me coming back Thursday morning.
She said she'd pay for my train tickets, I told her no freakin' way, I'd buy my own, thanks. Whatever, I don't care how much money she makes now. She's not buying my damn train tickets.
Which means, of course, that I am actually going.
And for all the talking that we've been doing recently, I really can't figure out what she actually wants from me.
I know I always say "we broke up" but the reality of it is, she broke up with me. She broke up with me more than one time. And I kind of feel like, I don't want to press too hard here because I don't want her to be like, ok that's it, I don't like you, remember? So stop talking to me.
Because I like that she's talking to me again.
But I still don't really understand what she wants. Cause it's not to get back together. That will never, ever happen. That was made crystal clear many times over.
And I don't really understand what I want either. I really want to see her too. I want to see her badly enough that I'm not demanding more details from her about what she actually wants because I don't want her to change her mind. But why bother? She's not a part of my life anymore. She's a part of my past, and that's it.
