So, a couple things I want to write about, here, one being one of the lj comms I'm on. I started a livejournal for the comms. I wrote in it, yeah, like one day a month or something, but it was really just to participate in the comms. Fandom stuff, some, and other things that just had to do with life, like art and photography and things like that. One comm I've been reading for a while is poor_skills (which I did mention the other day) and it can be a little infuriating how self righteous people can be about how much they're willing to sacrifice to be cheaper than everyone else in existence... but there's a lot of good information on that comm, especially for someone like me who often finds myself in situations where I'm like, uh oh, didn't expect this one, what do I do, I know, I'll call my mom, she knows, oh wait, not speaking to her, huh, wonder how I sort this one out? And so on.

So there's this girl who's been posting there a lot and it seems she's out of work because she broke her leg. Okay, so, she doesn't know what to do because she can't work because she's hurt, and she's trying to deal with having no income. Great. Okay, so poor_skills is a good place to get some pointers. Fine. But I've found myself, tonight, just wanting to shake her. Or at least leave her a nasty comment. Which I'm not going to do, because it's probably not a good idea, but... really? Really, she can't cook, because she's on crutches? Really? Really?

HAS IT REALLY NEVER OCCURRED TO THE GIRL TO SIT ON A DAMN STOOL?

I mean, seriously, I swear I am no type of supergimp. I am so far from that. I don't cook often, because I think it's a pain in the ass cooking for one person, and I never feel like doing the dishes anyway so my solution is just not to use them, and yes, that is called being very lazy, but... I can cook. I can cook really well. It never occurred to me to think, ok, I can't cook because I'm on crutches, I have to keep my hands on them or I fall down (her words, not mine) so I have to eat only things that don't need to be prepared, because I can't cook.

Obviously I'm just being really unsympathetic here. Which is why this is here on my personal journal and not on the comm. And yeah, pretty much all aspects of life are harder when you can't stand up on your own. But harder doesn't have to mean impossible. Really. It doesn't.

( Moving along, more of the same and a little bit different, I did say I went to the beach, right? )

I really miss living near public transportation. I really, really do. I miss living in the city. I don't like having a car and I don't like driving and I'm the worst driver ever.

And that's... yeah, that's about it, that's all I got for tonight.

Oh. Oh, there is the fact that I hate my job. I really, really hate my job and I fantasize every day about telling off every stupid, condescending, self-entitled customer and then getting fired. I can't wait.

You know those really thin plastic bags you get from the grocery store to put your veggies in?

I totally just turned on the toaster with one of those bags kind of... near it, like, almost on it but not quite.

They melt, by the way. Really quickly.

Anyway.

My Great And Wonderful Plan is totally screwed. How screwed? Oh, let me count the ways.

Well, there's my car. If I get my car fixed and registered and insured, it'll max out my credit card. I don't really want to do that, because that would leave me completely screwed if anything else comes up.

I have spent ALL of the money from the loan I took out on the house. I have not even remotely paid the loan off. (To be fair to me, paying the loan off by now certainly wasn't part of the original plan to begin with) I still cannot do anything else with the other house because I am still stalled by stupid zoning bullshit and the like.

The idea was supposed to be that by the end of the summer I would move into the other house, because it would actually be mostly livable by then because it would have been being worked on all summer, and I would rent out both floors of this house for the winter, and then by NEXT summer I would be renting out both floors of this house and two floors of that house all to tourists and all by the week, and THAT is how I would start paying everything off.

APPARENTLY NOT.

I went to the Coffee Co this morning to pick up my paycheck. I'll get another check from them on Friday, and then that's the end of that. That's six hundred dollars a month I won't have. By September I won't be getting the money from renting my upstairs anymore either. I can, hopefully, rent it to someone for the winter, but it certainly won't be the income it's been all summer.

If I spent ACTUAL money on fixing my car and all that, then I wouldn't have any ACTUAL money. But if I have no transportation (and the trolley doesn't run in the winter either) then how am I ever going to find another job, unless it's just down the street or something? I already inquired at pretty much every place of business within a ten-block radius - no one is hiring permanently. Couple places are hiring seasonal, but at this point, that's, like, two months. Which I'm torn between taking, and then starting the job search again in the fall (which is practically impossible since everyone downsizes in the fall), and ignoring, because what I really need is a non-seasonal job, and something that doesn't rely on tourism to sustain it, like... I don't even know what that would be anymore.

I need a "real job," is what it comes down to. Not a "kid job." Which means I need transportation. Blegh.

I AM IN OVER MY HEAD. I swore that I would not be, and, look at that, I AM.

And what, pray tell, has been occupying my every thought these days? No, not really my car, or finding a job. Not whatever disaster of a mess I've gotten myself into with Bevan. Nope.

I'm still writing that god-awful fanfic.

Which... feels good to be writing, but at the same time, damn, could I waste any more time?

Blegh.