Phone Hatred

I do not like talking on the phone.

I live in the downstairs of my house now. That means the pink and green ugly couch that has been here for longer than I've been alive is now mine again. Also there is a non-working refrigerator. I asked Sima to move it into the back bedroom. I'm gonna use it like a closet I think. I dunno, it's not like I am going to have it repaired or anything, and there is a little refrigerator in the kitchen that works and stuff. I thought it would make a good storage space. My computer area is all set up in the big bedroom. I like that room. It's my favorite.

Right, the phone. I don't like it.

When ever I hang out with anyone, it's always after work or something, and people just invite me along, or I ask for a ride home and I end up going wherever they're going on the way home. I did make plans to go shopping with Ruth, but we made those plans in person, at work. And that time I went to Bevan's and played Rock Band, we set that up at the coffee shop. Well the second time he invited me and I didn't go, he did actually call me.

And I haven't seen Bevan in like forever, cause I don't see him in the coffee shop anymore cause by seven my shift is over, and he usually comes in around eight or nine, and somehow I missed him at the restaurant all weekend too.

I would like to hang out with somebody. The weather has been so beautiful, and places are opening up for the summer, and I want to get out of the house and do something. So... I've got to call someone on the phone.

But what do I say? It's not like I've got some cool event to go to, like, "hey, there's a concert, want to go with me?" or "hey, want to go to so-and-so's party?" or even, "hey, I am having a party, want to come?" Cause that would be easy.

No, it has to be like, "hey, it's a nice day out, want to do something fun and exciting?"

But see, then the other person says, "like what?"

And I say, "I dunno, what do you want to do?"

And that's lame.

And of course who would I most like to hang out with? That would be B, of course, because he is my favorite. He is also the only person who has ever actually called me to hang out, ever. And who do I least want to call? Right. Him. Because I don't know. For some reason I just do not want to call him. I am positive I will sound stupid and desperate on the phone, that's why.

So my other choices are... JJ, this girl from work who is very friendly and stuff. She has never called me, but she does say all the time that I'm funny and we should hang out. I don't know if she's serious or not, though. Ruth, who is going shopping with me, but who I pretty much have nothing in common with and I have no idea what we would do together... after work I go to the bar with this girl Heather a whole lot, but she has never mentioned us hanging out other than the bars at eleven at night. I could maybe call her... maybe...

My social skills fucking suck.

But deep down, I just am not an introvert. I'm really not. Maybe I'm difficult to get along with and hard to be around, especially if I'm in some kind of mood, but I actually do not prefer to stay home by myself. I try to like it. I really do. I download all my favorite stuff to watch. I keep a nice supply of cold beer in the fridge. I have my speakers all set up with a remote control and everything, it's fab. I look for random stuff to fiddle with, drawing stuff and painting things and whatever, organizing my playlists, napping, whatever, but I WOULD RATHER BE NOT ALONE.

I like to stay home when I don't feel good. If I'm in pain or something, then no, of course I don't want to go out. I want to take a fucking tranquilizer and knock myself out. But I feel fine right now. Even my shoulder(s) feel fine. I liked living in a dorm in college because there was always someone around to entertain me. I liked living in EOL because there were like seven people in the house. Usually, more often than not, at least someone was home when I was home. Even when it was just me, Daniel, and Jay, usually I wasn't alone. And if I was, it was a good thing, because it was like a much-needed break from being surrounded all the time.

So, solution: CALL SOMEONE.

Except for I hate the phone...