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Time Out, Day One
Oct. 9th, 2009 05:44 pmSo. It took all my effort not to text my boyfriend to ask if he's really mad at me.
He's not - we swore up and down that we are not actually angry with each other - there is no reason to be! Neither of us did anything other than extremely annoy each other - so there's no need to bring it up.
Clearly he thinks the same thing as he did not text me either.
And I... I went to the gym this morning. Haven't been in like... three weeks, I think. And this is the cause of at least some of my not feeling well - I get my body all used to physical activity - as I should - and then just stop going? Yeah, of course I'm gonna feel like shit then. I started going to the gym because I thought it would help me, and it did, so, to the gym I went this morning, where I utterly failed at everything, because so it goes, if you don't use it, you lose it.
I went and sat in the bookstore and read the magazines and drank coffee, and I went to the mall.
And then, oh, then I came home and slept for like five hours - I just woke up like an hour ago - and it was a very nice sleep indeed.
And then... Hanna called asking if I would be in Philly this weekend (yes, I pick up the phone for Hanna - ) and I won't, and clearly this was her way of saying she wanted to see me, but I said I didn't feel good and was staying home.
Which is true... I don't feel good - I'm not sick - I'm uncomfortable, my whole body is sore, and I'm waking up with weird pains in the morning, but I meant I don't feel good. I feel mean. And angry. And I do not feel like gallivanting about the city with a girl I'm trying to impress when I'm not feeling very impressive.
I love fall - I love how the weather clears and cools and the leaves turn color and I love how the air just smells cold - although here in NJ it gets pretty ugly pretty quickly - everything is just grey and flat here - but I hate it too. My mood just plummets - I swear, it has to do with the decreasing daylight, it has to - and it's like I want to love everything, and instead I just hate everything.
I'm worried that Hanna is going to think I'm blowing her off - that I either don't want to see her at all, or I'm out with someone else doing something else (yeah right) and want to, I don't know, save her for another day or something, as if I was that popular, lol. I'm not... I don't want her to think that... but then, I guess I kind of am. I'm blowing her off so I can mope around at home, by myself, how fantastic is that?
I went to the mall this morning - I had this idea that I'd go shopping, buy some nice stuff - and I couldn't find anything I wanted. Whole mall full of useless, unnecessary stuff, none of it stuff that was awesome enough to come home with me. Almost talked myself into panties from Victoria's Secret, you know, the five for twenty five ones. Didn't even want those.
I'm winning at time out, here, totally.
He's not - we swore up and down that we are not actually angry with each other - there is no reason to be! Neither of us did anything other than extremely annoy each other - so there's no need to bring it up.
Clearly he thinks the same thing as he did not text me either.
And I... I went to the gym this morning. Haven't been in like... three weeks, I think. And this is the cause of at least some of my not feeling well - I get my body all used to physical activity - as I should - and then just stop going? Yeah, of course I'm gonna feel like shit then. I started going to the gym because I thought it would help me, and it did, so, to the gym I went this morning, where I utterly failed at everything, because so it goes, if you don't use it, you lose it.
I went and sat in the bookstore and read the magazines and drank coffee, and I went to the mall.
And then, oh, then I came home and slept for like five hours - I just woke up like an hour ago - and it was a very nice sleep indeed.
And then... Hanna called asking if I would be in Philly this weekend (yes, I pick up the phone for Hanna - ) and I won't, and clearly this was her way of saying she wanted to see me, but I said I didn't feel good and was staying home.
Which is true... I don't feel good - I'm not sick - I'm uncomfortable, my whole body is sore, and I'm waking up with weird pains in the morning, but I meant I don't feel good. I feel mean. And angry. And I do not feel like gallivanting about the city with a girl I'm trying to impress when I'm not feeling very impressive.
I love fall - I love how the weather clears and cools and the leaves turn color and I love how the air just smells cold - although here in NJ it gets pretty ugly pretty quickly - everything is just grey and flat here - but I hate it too. My mood just plummets - I swear, it has to do with the decreasing daylight, it has to - and it's like I want to love everything, and instead I just hate everything.
I'm worried that Hanna is going to think I'm blowing her off - that I either don't want to see her at all, or I'm out with someone else doing something else (yeah right) and want to, I don't know, save her for another day or something, as if I was that popular, lol. I'm not... I don't want her to think that... but then, I guess I kind of am. I'm blowing her off so I can mope around at home, by myself, how fantastic is that?
I went to the mall this morning - I had this idea that I'd go shopping, buy some nice stuff - and I couldn't find anything I wanted. Whole mall full of useless, unnecessary stuff, none of it stuff that was awesome enough to come home with me. Almost talked myself into panties from Victoria's Secret, you know, the five for twenty five ones. Didn't even want those.
I'm winning at time out, here, totally.
