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Gathering Thoughts
Sep. 3rd, 2009 09:55 pmSeptember 26th at 1AM = plane leaves for China. By the way. Just so no one forgets that :P
I've been thinking a lot about the possibility of going back to school and what exactly I would do. Bevan and I talked about it quite a bit - and in the course of our conversation, I realized (again) just how much of a loner I've become. Or I've always been, I don't know. Bevan doesn't count because he's my boyfriend - I can devote my attention to one special person, but that's maybe all I've got room for these days. Or any days, I don't know. Thinking about going to school has got me thinking back to when I was in college and how I felt like I had so many friends, but... those people were just people I lived with. They were my social circle because I lived in the circle. It was very much a take-it-or-leave-it kind of friendship. We had great times. They're great people. But I wouldn't say we're still friends. Or maybe even that we were ever friends.
When things, things of great importance, come up in my life, things like making decisions concerning my future, I feel like I've got no one to bounce ideas off of - except him. And in this particular instance he's not the best sounding board. And he knows it. I'm asking him for advice on things in which he has no knowledge to draw from. If I describe something and say "do you think this will work" he'll say yes, because he believes that I know what I'm talking about. But there isn't anyone else. I wish Erica wasn't someone I decided was no good as a friend. Cause I could really use a conversation with her right now.
I have my transcripts here in front of me, and college on paper is vastly different from the college in my memory. Some things, apparently, my memory has edited pretty severely. For instance, my GPA appears to be a 3.78, and yet in my head all I did was screw around. Of course, it also seems I withdrew - late - from quite a few classes in the course of my education. Probably because I couldn't save my grade. Also, I completed the Elements level of Chinese, and I thought I only finished one semester of that. So in fact it was the Intermediate Chinese class that I withdrew from. Also I'm one class away from a Spanish language certificate and I don't even remember taking a Spanish class besides what I took in community. So it seems that I took an advanced class in college and one more advanced class would get me a certificate.
( This that and everything else )
I wish I knew what I wanted. If I knew "what I want to be when I grow up" I'd make a plan, I'd figure out how to do it and then get on with it. But I don't.
I've been thinking a lot about the possibility of going back to school and what exactly I would do. Bevan and I talked about it quite a bit - and in the course of our conversation, I realized (again) just how much of a loner I've become. Or I've always been, I don't know. Bevan doesn't count because he's my boyfriend - I can devote my attention to one special person, but that's maybe all I've got room for these days. Or any days, I don't know. Thinking about going to school has got me thinking back to when I was in college and how I felt like I had so many friends, but... those people were just people I lived with. They were my social circle because I lived in the circle. It was very much a take-it-or-leave-it kind of friendship. We had great times. They're great people. But I wouldn't say we're still friends. Or maybe even that we were ever friends.
When things, things of great importance, come up in my life, things like making decisions concerning my future, I feel like I've got no one to bounce ideas off of - except him. And in this particular instance he's not the best sounding board. And he knows it. I'm asking him for advice on things in which he has no knowledge to draw from. If I describe something and say "do you think this will work" he'll say yes, because he believes that I know what I'm talking about. But there isn't anyone else. I wish Erica wasn't someone I decided was no good as a friend. Cause I could really use a conversation with her right now.
I have my transcripts here in front of me, and college on paper is vastly different from the college in my memory. Some things, apparently, my memory has edited pretty severely. For instance, my GPA appears to be a 3.78, and yet in my head all I did was screw around. Of course, it also seems I withdrew - late - from quite a few classes in the course of my education. Probably because I couldn't save my grade. Also, I completed the Elements level of Chinese, and I thought I only finished one semester of that. So in fact it was the Intermediate Chinese class that I withdrew from. Also I'm one class away from a Spanish language certificate and I don't even remember taking a Spanish class besides what I took in community. So it seems that I took an advanced class in college and one more advanced class would get me a certificate.
( This that and everything else )
I wish I knew what I wanted. If I knew "what I want to be when I grow up" I'd make a plan, I'd figure out how to do it and then get on with it. But I don't.
