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Oh To Sleep
Sep. 4th, 2009 12:24 pmSo, I said a few days ago that I've been sleeping.
I've really been sleeping. And I'm just letting myself - I'll wake up when I wake up. I do still wake up around six - this is two hours later than my usual automatic-wake-up-time, but I do still have one. And then... I go pee (I know the wide world of the internet is hanging on my every word here, even if it's just about peeing :P ) and I just go back to sleep and get up again around nine or ten. It's really quite lovely and relaxing. I feel so great... and... have I been chugging energy drinks? No I have not! Bevan and I still have coffee in the mornings together, and that, my friends, is my only caffeine intake of the day.
Since school ended he has been sleeping here pretty much every night, so when I wake up around six he gets up too, goes for an early morning surf, and then I dunno what he does when I sleep :P He uses my computer I think. And my shower. And the other day he folded my laundry and I was like... you don't have to do that, I'll get to it eventually. And he was like, if you leave it like that, you're gonna forget you washed it and wash it again. And I was like, I will not! And he was like, you will. I've seen you do it. And I was like 0.o you that carefully observe my laundry???
So, my toes are not black-and-blue anymore. The top of my foot and between my toes is still sort of... greenish and there is still a bruise there but it's, like, light brown. So this is great. I knew it was going to take a long time to heal but... it's healing which is one less thing to worry about. Also, I discovered... I still can't touch my toes but if, say, another person pulls on my hands... I can just get my fingertips to the tops of my feet. So, not abandoning my quest for flexibility is very, very slowly paying off... I think. Poco a poco, and all that.
I've made a conscious decision to stop this mental frenzy about school. I don't like leaving things up in the air, even for a short amount of time, and so my final word on the matter is that I will not even consider more school until I know exactly what I want to do after (theoretically) graduating. School is not a playground, it doesn't exist to just flit from one interest to another and I am not dedicating any more time, money, or effort to screwing around. This is exactly what I've said before and have been saying for years, and I'm sticking to it. This doesn't mean I can't ever go back. It just means that I'm not going back before I'm ready and I'm obviously not ready yet.
This afternoon me and B are going hiking up at this park - yes really. It is an experiment. Expect a report of the successes and failures. I don't know how interesting that is but I'm interested and this is, after all, my journal.
I changed the name of my journal, too. It was "Come Down (and waste away with me)" for the Foo Fighters song and I've thought for a while that I just don't like how bleak that is. It's what I felt like when I started this journal, and of course it's still a great song, but it isn't what I feel like now. I don't want to be all "nothin' but blue skies" or anything like that, but "Come Down" just doesn't seem to fit anymore.
And, oh, my icon has been different for a while - that's the character for "New Year" so it's kind of like new beginnings and stuff, new horizons and all that, if anyone was wondering where Billie Piper went. My other China icon is for the year of the ox - not only are we in the year of the ox, but my boyfriend was born in the year of the ox. So obviously it was meant to be. I'm not sure I actually do believe in fate, but it is pretty nifty how sometimes things line up like this. This trip is really his; I'm just going along with him. It's his family and his... I guess, draw to travel, but he wants me along. Me. Not anybody else. No one else even entered the picture, it was me or not going at all. And that's pretty fucking awesome, regardless of what happens after we get back.
I've really been sleeping. And I'm just letting myself - I'll wake up when I wake up. I do still wake up around six - this is two hours later than my usual automatic-wake-up-time, but I do still have one. And then... I go pee (I know the wide world of the internet is hanging on my every word here, even if it's just about peeing :P ) and I just go back to sleep and get up again around nine or ten. It's really quite lovely and relaxing. I feel so great... and... have I been chugging energy drinks? No I have not! Bevan and I still have coffee in the mornings together, and that, my friends, is my only caffeine intake of the day.
Since school ended he has been sleeping here pretty much every night, so when I wake up around six he gets up too, goes for an early morning surf, and then I dunno what he does when I sleep :P He uses my computer I think. And my shower. And the other day he folded my laundry and I was like... you don't have to do that, I'll get to it eventually. And he was like, if you leave it like that, you're gonna forget you washed it and wash it again. And I was like, I will not! And he was like, you will. I've seen you do it. And I was like 0.o you that carefully observe my laundry???
So, my toes are not black-and-blue anymore. The top of my foot and between my toes is still sort of... greenish and there is still a bruise there but it's, like, light brown. So this is great. I knew it was going to take a long time to heal but... it's healing which is one less thing to worry about. Also, I discovered... I still can't touch my toes but if, say, another person pulls on my hands... I can just get my fingertips to the tops of my feet. So, not abandoning my quest for flexibility is very, very slowly paying off... I think. Poco a poco, and all that.
I've made a conscious decision to stop this mental frenzy about school. I don't like leaving things up in the air, even for a short amount of time, and so my final word on the matter is that I will not even consider more school until I know exactly what I want to do after (theoretically) graduating. School is not a playground, it doesn't exist to just flit from one interest to another and I am not dedicating any more time, money, or effort to screwing around. This is exactly what I've said before and have been saying for years, and I'm sticking to it. This doesn't mean I can't ever go back. It just means that I'm not going back before I'm ready and I'm obviously not ready yet.
This afternoon me and B are going hiking up at this park - yes really. It is an experiment. Expect a report of the successes and failures. I don't know how interesting that is but I'm interested and this is, after all, my journal.
I changed the name of my journal, too. It was "Come Down (and waste away with me)" for the Foo Fighters song and I've thought for a while that I just don't like how bleak that is. It's what I felt like when I started this journal, and of course it's still a great song, but it isn't what I feel like now. I don't want to be all "nothin' but blue skies" or anything like that, but "Come Down" just doesn't seem to fit anymore.
And, oh, my icon has been different for a while - that's the character for "New Year" so it's kind of like new beginnings and stuff, new horizons and all that, if anyone was wondering where Billie Piper went. My other China icon is for the year of the ox - not only are we in the year of the ox, but my boyfriend was born in the year of the ox. So obviously it was meant to be. I'm not sure I actually do believe in fate, but it is pretty nifty how sometimes things line up like this. This trip is really his; I'm just going along with him. It's his family and his... I guess, draw to travel, but he wants me along. Me. Not anybody else. No one else even entered the picture, it was me or not going at all. And that's pretty fucking awesome, regardless of what happens after we get back.
