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exhilaration(2 Points) Who is my favorite band/artist?: The Foo Fighters. User name should give that one away :P I have a LOT to say about the Foo Fighters. Way too much for one entry. Way too much for five entries! I'm going to do a series of voice posts all about how much I love the Foo Fighters! Just you wait!
(3 Points) Am I shy or outgoing?: Normally, I am not shy. Every so often, though, it sneaks up on me. I'm not afraid to talk to people I don't know. I'm not afraid to start random conversations - I like to talk to people I don't know and start random conversations. I don't have "stage fright" or whatever - I will sing at karaoke night no problem. But every so often I just don't feel like being around crowds of people. Its entirely a mood thing - sometimes I am just not in the mood.
(4 Points) What is my secret 'if I could do anything, money/reality no object' dream?: What do you think I would do if I could do anything?
This is a tough one to answer. First thing that comes to mind would be walk. If I could do anything, reality being no object, would walking be it? I mean, ask me again tomorrow and I might take this back in a heartbeat, but you know what? This is what I have to say tonight: if I could walk, I don't think it would change my life all that much. It would improve the quality of my life, of course it would, but in the end... not much would change. The things that are the most dissatisfying to me would still be true. The things that are barriers for me, the things I struggle with, the things that get in my way of enjoying life at its best... they'd still be there. I'd just be standing on my own.
My family would still not be speaking to me. I still wouldn't have seen my parents or my sister in over a year. My best friend would still consider me to be pure poison and want nothing to do with me. I'd still have half a college degree and an absurd amount of credits but no money or motivation to finish school. I'd still live in a town where there are no job opportunities. I'd still be ruled by painkillers, and even if I wasn't, even if by magically making me able to walk we erase that dependency too, I'd still have a criminal record and still be unable to get a job I'd really want to do because of it.
So, if reality is no object, then, would I choose to go back in time and fix things so I never got hurt in the first place?
I don't know if I can even entertain that thought. To erase the last ten years of my life and start over - I don't know. I'd be a different person with a different ten years behind me by now. I wouldn't even be myself. I wouldn't be answering this question right now. It would be like one of those time-travel paradoxes, I'm sure, and then the universe would implode. And would I trade everything, everything I've done and learned and experienced for the chance to do it over again? Could I really give it all up?
There are some things I could never stand to lose. Some memories I could never stand to give up. That's the bottom line. And, to be completely, brutally honest: it is one hundred percent my fault that I got hurt so badly back then, and, at the time, I thought I was doing the right thing. It wasn't an accident and it wasn't just a fluke thing - it was my fault, and I can't see myself doing anything differently. So the entire speculation is entirely moot.
So, if I could do anything, and neither money nor reality were an object, what would it be, then?
I want a spaceship, and I want to fly in it. I want to see the universe - I want to see parts of the universe no human has ever seen. I want to see the wonders that we on earth can't even imagine. I want to meet other life forms - I want to hear languages my puny human brain can't even process. A blue box would be nice - time travel would be nice - but honestly, I don't mean the one thing I want more than anything is for my favorite TV show to be real. I want to see the stars. Up close. I've spent my whole life, from when I was hardly old enough to read a book about the planets right up until now, when I look up every single time I go outside at night (because this whole town turns off at midnight - I can see ALL the stars) I have always wanted to go into outer space.
So if money/reality were no object, THAT is what I'd do.
Bonus: My job fucking sucks. Nobody likes a hostess.
(3 Points) Am I shy or outgoing?: Normally, I am not shy. Every so often, though, it sneaks up on me. I'm not afraid to talk to people I don't know. I'm not afraid to start random conversations - I like to talk to people I don't know and start random conversations. I don't have "stage fright" or whatever - I will sing at karaoke night no problem. But every so often I just don't feel like being around crowds of people. Its entirely a mood thing - sometimes I am just not in the mood.
(4 Points) What is my secret 'if I could do anything, money/reality no object' dream?: What do you think I would do if I could do anything?
This is a tough one to answer. First thing that comes to mind would be walk. If I could do anything, reality being no object, would walking be it? I mean, ask me again tomorrow and I might take this back in a heartbeat, but you know what? This is what I have to say tonight: if I could walk, I don't think it would change my life all that much. It would improve the quality of my life, of course it would, but in the end... not much would change. The things that are the most dissatisfying to me would still be true. The things that are barriers for me, the things I struggle with, the things that get in my way of enjoying life at its best... they'd still be there. I'd just be standing on my own.
My family would still not be speaking to me. I still wouldn't have seen my parents or my sister in over a year. My best friend would still consider me to be pure poison and want nothing to do with me. I'd still have half a college degree and an absurd amount of credits but no money or motivation to finish school. I'd still live in a town where there are no job opportunities. I'd still be ruled by painkillers, and even if I wasn't, even if by magically making me able to walk we erase that dependency too, I'd still have a criminal record and still be unable to get a job I'd really want to do because of it.
So, if reality is no object, then, would I choose to go back in time and fix things so I never got hurt in the first place?
I don't know if I can even entertain that thought. To erase the last ten years of my life and start over - I don't know. I'd be a different person with a different ten years behind me by now. I wouldn't even be myself. I wouldn't be answering this question right now. It would be like one of those time-travel paradoxes, I'm sure, and then the universe would implode. And would I trade everything, everything I've done and learned and experienced for the chance to do it over again? Could I really give it all up?
There are some things I could never stand to lose. Some memories I could never stand to give up. That's the bottom line. And, to be completely, brutally honest: it is one hundred percent my fault that I got hurt so badly back then, and, at the time, I thought I was doing the right thing. It wasn't an accident and it wasn't just a fluke thing - it was my fault, and I can't see myself doing anything differently. So the entire speculation is entirely moot.
So, if I could do anything, and neither money nor reality were an object, what would it be, then?
I want a spaceship, and I want to fly in it. I want to see the universe - I want to see parts of the universe no human has ever seen. I want to see the wonders that we on earth can't even imagine. I want to meet other life forms - I want to hear languages my puny human brain can't even process. A blue box would be nice - time travel would be nice - but honestly, I don't mean the one thing I want more than anything is for my favorite TV show to be real. I want to see the stars. Up close. I've spent my whole life, from when I was hardly old enough to read a book about the planets right up until now, when I look up every single time I go outside at night (because this whole town turns off at midnight - I can see ALL the stars) I have always wanted to go into outer space.
So if money/reality were no object, THAT is what I'd do.
Bonus: My job fucking sucks. Nobody likes a hostess.
