Vote Yet?

Nov. 4th, 2008 11:00 pm
exhilaration: (Default)
[personal profile] exhilaration
So this morning I woke up and launched immediately into a cleaning frenzy, which is usually what I tend to do when I'm furious about something.

If I didn't make this clear last night (and I think I didn't) the real version of mine and Erica's fight is that I am missing some painkillers and she denied taking them and told me I'm crazy, as is evidenced by the fact that I already take "crazy meds." But both missing pills and being called crazy are legitimate things to be angry about, and I'm sticking to that. She denies taking my pills. But she doesn't take back calling me crazy. And I'm pretty sure she did take them, because she does a lot of pills. You know, for fun. Recreationally. If she didn't, I can't think of who else could have, and I KNOW I didn't take them. I keep track.

All recreational drug use has lost its glamour for me. I don't do it. I don't want to do it. I hate drugs. Other people can do whatever strikes their fancy, and I'm not going to pass judgment on anyone else, but I can't be involved in it.

If Erica thinks taking a few pills of mine isn't a big deal, she can't be here. Cause it is a big deal. If she thinks she just needs to toss me some money and that'll make up for it - she can't, and she can't be here. And... she really just can't be here. I can't see it any other way.

I don't understand what possibly could have happened between her and her parents that she can't live with them. That's her house, that's where she grew up, and until she turned up on my doorstep, she was always one hundred percent welcome there and one hundred percent comfortable. I thought it had something to do with Hanna - she said it didn't... could it have had something to do with drugs? Cause that... would make a WHOLE lot of sense.

If I wasn't so angry and insulted and infuriated with her, I'd be worried about her. But what can I do, right? I've tried to ask her what's going on. She blows me off. And now she's messed with my pills AND called me crazy. I can't be anything other than angry.

I can't count how many people at work today asked me if I voted yet.

You know what? NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS.

And yes, when I get all defensive like that, of course there's something I'm not proud of behind it all.

What an election. History in the making. How amazing.

I didn't expect it to sting so much. But I would have liked to vote.

There. I actually mentioned politics. How about that.
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Lara I.

October 2012

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