exhilaration | My Job And The Study Of Other People

So, a few things are different at work these days. For one thing, I work with Erica, and I've got a whole lot to say about that. Two, I'm working different shifts than what I'm used to, because my manager pretty much let me pick my own schedule so I arranged it to work around my Wawa shifts, which are overnight. Three, without me on my regular shifts, um, apparently the lobby has been a disaster and desperate measures have had to have been taken, namely this dude Kevin, the daytime bartender, has been working my Friday and Saturday close shifts. He's worked there for, oh, eight years or something, and these shifts push him into overtime, so I'm sure he's making something like $25/hour to do this, otherwise I'm sure he wouldn't have agreed to it in the first place.

So this means that on Friday nights it's me, Kevin, Tara (the Terrible) and one other random person. Kimmy, my favoritest coworker ever, hasn't been working at all this spring because she's got some kind of school activity going on or something, and it's been really awful without her. But! It's Kevin to the rescue! Between me and Kevin, everything runs perfectly smooth. The fourth person usually gets sent home because they're unnecessary, and Tara The Terrible behaves perfectly when he's around. Friday nights have been sweet.

So every night we each pick what job we want to do - I think I explained this once before. I always say I want to be on "door duty," meaning that all I do is hold the door open and say hello to people on their way in. I never get to actually do this - this spot is reserved for whoever is too incapable to do anything else. Usually I'm the coordinator, meaning I take people's names and then call them when their tables are ready, and also boss the other hosts around telling them who to take to which table and when. It gets... pretty frantic doing all that at once, because guests are always trying to talk to me when I'm trying to communicate with my coworkers over the headset, and I find that particularly difficult to deal with, but apparently I do a good job of it because, like I said, without me working Saturday nights some other competent person had to be brought in (meaning, of course, that none of the other hosts counted as competent people, lol)

Well, since Kevin has seniority over my by LIEK WHOAZ, on Fridays we do things his way. "His way" works pretty efficiently, honestly, and it's the reason one person always gets sent home right away for being unnecessary (meaning the rest of us make more money that way) but it means that I have to seat people, and I hate doing that. They never want to sit at the first table I show them, blah blah blah, I'm sure I've explained this is detail before. Anyway. Kevin has whoever the "dud" employee is taking names and saying hello, and that's all, right at the door. That list is then put on the host stand for he and I to call and seat people from, and then when that list is done we just take the new list from the person at the door. This means the person taking names does not have to concern themselves with anything being said over the headset and does not have to take names and call names at the same time. This also means, however, that there isn't one person directing everything, so the two people seating have to really know what they're doing. So if it's me and him, it works really well.

So... I've also mentioned before how I get a lot of randomly absurd comments from strangers while I'm at work - I've never really had a job before that worked so directly with the public, unless I count my job as drive-thru chick, but even then people couldn't see me. I usually get a few bizarre comments every shift, which kind of makes sense seeing how I see probably six or seven hundred people on a busy day, considering everyone who comes in the door pretty much has contact with me. Out of that many people, a few are gonna be whack jobs I guess.

Sometimes I get the people who walk up to me and instead of saying "hi, table for three" or whatever, they say the name of a disorder, like they're trying to guess my disability or something (I use crutches.) No hello, or anything, and no "excuse me, I was wondering if you have..." Someone will just walk up to me and say "cerebral palsy?" or "muscular distrophy?"

Sometimes I pretend like they said "hi" and say, "hi, how are you this evening?" and then just continue to respond like they've asked me how long the wait is, etc.

Sometimes I say, "ah, no. So, how many in your party?"

If I say "no, spinal cord injury" I invariably get a story about someone they know who also has a spinal cord injury, and I really don't want to get into a discussion like that about someone else's business, especially when I don't have time for a long conversation anyway and especially when I have no intentions of sharing my own business with a stranger, so, usually, I don't go that route.

On Friday, though, Friday I said the most fabulous thing, and Kevin was standing right there listening, and told me afterwards that I am positively evil.

GOOD. THAT IS WHAT I WAS STRIVING FOR. I AM EVIL. Not nice. Not sweet. EVIL. REMEMBER THAT.

So this woman, mom-like looking lady, maybe in her forties or fifties, says to me, "ah, cerebral palsy?" (no hello or anything, of course.)

And I raised my eyebrows and asked, "hmm, Asperger's?"

"Asperger's?" she asks, totally thrown off.

"Asperger's, you know, the disorder where you make completely socially inappropriate comments and have no idea?"

And she totally got it. It didn't slide right over her head. She got it. Fortunately Kevin was right there and asked her how many in her party etc and that was that. But YEAH. Totally EVIL. I'm really proud of myself for that one.

People also walk up to me and ask me what's wrong with my legs. Recently I've just been shrugging and saying "nothing's wrong with them, so how are you doing this evening?" By deflecting the conversation right back at the person I think it sends the most polite message possible that I'm not going to engage in such personal conversation with a stranger, and at the same time not being nasty about it, which, you know, since I'm at work, can get me in trouble, or at least make things difficult.

When I show people to their seats I usually get a few people who comment how "wow, you're really good with those" and I usually just say something about having a lot of practice, but seriously, if I wasn't any good with crutches, I'd hardly be using them, would I? On Friday, though, I dunno what I did but I almost fell and did this spin kind of thing to just stay upright and this lady goes, "oh, having fun there, are we?" Yeah. Tons. I think that's what I actually said to her, too, really sarcastically. Oops.

Of course I also get the people who take off ahead of me and sit at dirty tables because they want to "make it easier for me" (ie get their own way) and that's just supremely frustrating because it causes chaos, you see, when people pick their own seats...

If this entry goes from making sense to to making sense, well, I started it Sunday morning, and I'm finishing it Sunday night and I'm a little drunk right now, but I'm trying really hard to type accurately...

You do get that I don't get drunk when I go out because I can't walk when I'm drunk, right? And I get drunk at home because I can, right?

Anyway... where was I? Strangers saying strange things to me?

Ok well here's the thing with Erica and working with Erica, okay? I really like Erica. I consider her one of my good friends. Well, ever since she's started working with me, I've gotten a little bit more perspective, I guess you'd say. Where has Erica been all this time? She's been in Virginia. That's where she went to college, and college was the best time of her life, so she says. So, she went back there. I get that. She dated a guy there. She got back together with him for a bit. Makes sense. She's broken up with him again and she's back here in NJ. Ok, I get that.

She's back now, and I'm glad she's back and i've missed her. I know, she left all her stuff at my house, but she's dealt with that. I'm over it.

She's good at being a waitress. She's got a hot temper, like I do, but she dosn't let it show towards the guests, like I try not to. She's calm, and accomodating, and so on She's good at her job. She does have a hot temper, and sometimes she takes it out on her coworkers, but, really, it's never unfounded.

But. Nobody likes her. I feel really bad for her. She's so... I dont' know. She was on the dean's list in college - she's used to being the best at everything. So, she's good at her job, and yet, epopel talk shit about her all the time. Nobody likes her and every single person has something horrible to say about her and it's really unfounded. She's doing a really good job at the restaurant and I dont' know what everyone else is basing their trash-talking on but it's not anyting ive ever seen and I've seen a lot, I think.

She said to me the other day that it's really "high school" and I thought she meant that she's working with a lot of people she went to high school with, which she is. But I get what she means now. I, myself, didn't actually go to high school (yes really) but I do get what "high school" means. Everyone talks shit about everyone else. I get it. And everyone has been talking shit about Erica and I feel really bad for her. She comes back from college, perfect GPA and all, and she comes right back to the town she swore she'd never come back to, and she comes right back to the gossip mill and it starts right back up again about her. I feel bad. I know she's not perfect, but, damn, she's not that bad either and she doesn't deserve this shit.

If that makes sense. I hope I'm typing coherently. I have a spell check, at least. But, I have been drinking quite a bit. Funny, isn't it, how drinking is legal but drugs aren't?

Anyway. She's good at her job. She's good at everything she does and she doesn't deserve this shit.

Kevin's a pretty good coworker and I think I like him.

Phillies are losing horribly tonight and I don't want to talk about it.

B asked me about tickets to a few games this season, and I can't help but think of that game we went to when it rained and I was totally miserable. I can't tailgate in the parking lot because I can't walk when I'm drunk, and the walk from the parking lot to the stadium is like a mile and it's pretty brutal in the hot sun. I dunno. He asked me, again, I mean, he said very nicely that it makes perfect sense how it's unreasonably hard to walk that far with crutches, especially when drunk, and wouldn't it be so much easier and better with a wheelchair, and I said again that yeah of course it would but the wheelchair is at my parents house and I haven't been there since '06, and so that's that...

And, yeah. So, maybe we'll go to a game on Tuesday. If I feel like it. I really should have my WC here, it's stupid not to. I know, when I was younger I barely thought about it and never needed it, but I GUESS IM GETTING OLD OR SOMETHING cause I could sure use it now. I'd totally get trashed in the parking lot and just roll on into the game and have a blast... well then again, the WC seating area, so, I dunno. I dunno how many friends you can have with you there, and, if I sat in the regular seating i dunno where the WC would go and those seats are mad uncomfortable...

Yeah, totally finishing this entry drunk and i'm really sorry this isnt' making any sense. I'm trying really hard with the spell check but I think it's about time to give up and just post, forget saying anyting of significance tonight.

I did mean to say something significant, I really did...