Day After Day, Alone On The Hill
Apr. 5th, 2008 01:26 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
exhilarationFirst, a meme from ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
ithidrial
1. My username is ______ because ______.
Lara_Everlong, because my first name is Lara, and I deeply adore the Foo Fighters.
2. My name is _____ because ______.
My real name, in case (just in case!) anyone from RL is looking for me, they can find my journal and know that I am still a part of existence. As far as I know, this has never happened. But I hold out hope.
3. My journal is titled ____ because ____.
Come Down, because it references the Foo Fighters song that I used for my LJ handle. And because when I started this journal, I was feeling pretty much on the bottom of the world. I've thought about changing it, though, because really, I'm not permanently down there, even if I felt that way when I named the journal.
4. My friends page is called ____ because ____.
Out Of Her Head She Sang, because even though in theory I know all the people on LJ are real people, sometimes it all seems like this elaborate made up place.
5. My default userpic is ____ because ____.
Well, that's Billie Piper, she plays Rose in Doctor Who, and she's my default icon because I like her :P I like her because she isn't perfect, because she's had an incredible life, and she didn't get a happy ending.
Well, lets see. I called up the restaurant yesterday morning and asked to speak to my manager Vicky. She's the head manager, not the other one who wouldn't let me go home early last week. I sat around stewing about things for a long while and finally came to the conclusion that I'm not in the same situation I was in a year ago - I'm not desperate for a paycheck, and I'm not going to run myself into the ground for a job that, in the end, really doesn't mean anything to me anyway. So if they were going to pull the whole "you have to come to work or your fired" deal, well, fine. Fire me. I was in so much pain last week just standing up there at the host stand I was practically in tears by the end of the night. I need to do whatever I can to feel better and be functional again, and I've decided that means I just need to rest - meaning I'm not going to work this weekend.
When I talked to her on the phone, though, she said of course I didn't have to come in if I wasn't well, and to just worry about feeling better, and she was sure the restaurant could manage without me - of course it could, just like it could have last weekend, just like I said - and she told me not to worry about losing my job, she never once thought I was an unreliable employee, and that things happen, people get sick, and people get hurt, and she wants to keep me as an employee and that means I need to take care of myself. And so. That means I do still have one job. We'll see about my other job.
But my plans for the weekend were mostly to just sit around the house and rest and not do a single thing that's strenuous in any way shape or form, and then go to the doctor on Monday and see what they tell me. I'm going back to the clinic in Philly even though I was just there and had a rotten experience, because, like I said, they have everything on file for me there and I know I'll be able to see someone that day. I don't know how much they'll really be able to do other than refer me to some other doctor who will take three months to get an appointment with, but it's a start. I can't just sit here freaking out and doing nothing to get past this.
But also this weekend the contractors were coming to replace all the windows on the second floor - this is very important, because the house does not and is not going to have air conditioning, so it's important that the windows actually seal or the fans and whatever are going to be worthless. And I just didn't want to sit around the house with them here banging around and coming in and out of every room - my plan was just to be out all day. I was going to get Sima to drive me to AC and take a bus to the mall and shop for things that I actually need rather than cute clothes that I DONT need, but I'm definitely not doing that now.
I thought about knocking on Sima's door and seeing if I could just hang around down there, but I really just prefer to be alone when I'm feeling like shit. There are all kinds of things I could do that would keep me out of the house all day - I could go to the movie theatre and just see movies all day, even. But that still leaves me getting to the movie theatre. Which I could conceivably walk to, if I wasn't supposed to be resting and stuff. Then Bevan called and asked if I wanted to come over and play Rock Band for the afternoon before work again, and I thought about sitting around his house, but still - that's not me just sitting still and doing nothing, which is really the only thing I can think of that might help me. That and I don't really want to be around Bevan and everyone else when I feel so terrible, so I told him what my shoulder felt like, and he was like, "that is a pulled muscle, thats all, don't get too freaked out by it, you're not falling apart. Sit in a hot bath or put one of those heat compresses on your shoulder, it will feel better."
See, this is what happens when you ask me what's wrong, you get a very detailed description of exactly how shitty I feel.
Well I don't have a bath tub - I did, but when I got the upstairs bathroom re-done, I got just a shower with a slidy-door instead, because the bathroom up here is tiny to begin with and I wanted to have a little closet in there for towels and stuff - never did actually get the closet, either, there just wasn't enough room. But I didn't want to have a bathroom I was claustrophobic in, you know? And bathtubs are a bitch to clean, as well. Downstairs has a bathtub still (and downstairs is going to continue to have a bathtub even after it gets all remodeled, because I have discovered that I do indeed miss taking a bath every so often, and downstairs I think is going to be my residence for at least the next few years).
So now I have swallowed my pride (whatever, as if I had any anyway) and asked Sima to go to the store for me and get a box of those heat-up patch things for sore muscles, and whatever else might be on that shelf of the drugstore that looks like it would be good for a very sore shoulder. Sima will pretty much do anything I ask him to at the drop of a hat, and I totally feel like I'm taking advantage of him, and I feel really bad about that. But he drives my car all the time - and you know, I was thinking about it the other day, and I know he doesn't have insurance and I know I don't have insurance so... god forbid he ever gets pulled over. But that would be his problem, which makes it not my problem. Every time I think about just chancing it and driving my car without a license (or insurance or registration...) I think about how whenever something can go wrong for me, it inevitably does, and how if I ever want to get my license back, getting caught driving with a suspended license is NOT the way to do it...
Anyway Sima drives my car, and of course I'm not charging him and Patrice rent for April because I've informed them that when they move out in May they're also moving all my stuff downstairs for me, and their payment for that is a month's free rent, so... it's not like I'm really taking advantage of him, is it? Not if I'm paying him in some way for all these favors?
So I'm in my living room just curled up on the futon with loud banging and chaos all around me, trying very hard to download last night's Torchwood but failing miserably, because something is fucking with my connection, I have no idea what. I'm waiting for Sima to come back from the store, and putzing around on the internet for stuff to do. It's really, really gorgeous outside, and I think maybe later I'll go sit out on the balcony or something to get some of this fabulous sun - sunlight puts you in a better mood, right, it alters your brain's production of happy-chemicals or something like that, I think. If I was feeling better today might be another day to go sit on the beach or something - or near the beach, anyway, or maybe camp out in the other house, or something.
I guess what I can do that would be really productive would be to start shopping online for some shore-house-type furniture, because, well, summer is coming and the season is starting and if I want to make this whole income-property thing work, well, I have to have this all rentable by summer. Which is basically impossible, and how I'm really going to get everything done when I've been dicking around all winter instead of taking care of all this stuff, well, damned if I know.
The Man With A Thousand Voices Standing Perfectly Still
ithidrial1. My username is ______ because ______.
Lara_Everlong, because my first name is Lara, and I deeply adore the Foo Fighters.
2. My name is _____ because ______.
My real name, in case (just in case!) anyone from RL is looking for me, they can find my journal and know that I am still a part of existence. As far as I know, this has never happened. But I hold out hope.
3. My journal is titled ____ because ____.
Come Down, because it references the Foo Fighters song that I used for my LJ handle. And because when I started this journal, I was feeling pretty much on the bottom of the world. I've thought about changing it, though, because really, I'm not permanently down there, even if I felt that way when I named the journal.
4. My friends page is called ____ because ____.
Out Of Her Head She Sang, because even though in theory I know all the people on LJ are real people, sometimes it all seems like this elaborate made up place.
5. My default userpic is ____ because ____.
Well, that's Billie Piper, she plays Rose in Doctor Who, and she's my default icon because I like her :P I like her because she isn't perfect, because she's had an incredible life, and she didn't get a happy ending.
Well, lets see. I called up the restaurant yesterday morning and asked to speak to my manager Vicky. She's the head manager, not the other one who wouldn't let me go home early last week. I sat around stewing about things for a long while and finally came to the conclusion that I'm not in the same situation I was in a year ago - I'm not desperate for a paycheck, and I'm not going to run myself into the ground for a job that, in the end, really doesn't mean anything to me anyway. So if they were going to pull the whole "you have to come to work or your fired" deal, well, fine. Fire me. I was in so much pain last week just standing up there at the host stand I was practically in tears by the end of the night. I need to do whatever I can to feel better and be functional again, and I've decided that means I just need to rest - meaning I'm not going to work this weekend.
When I talked to her on the phone, though, she said of course I didn't have to come in if I wasn't well, and to just worry about feeling better, and she was sure the restaurant could manage without me - of course it could, just like it could have last weekend, just like I said - and she told me not to worry about losing my job, she never once thought I was an unreliable employee, and that things happen, people get sick, and people get hurt, and she wants to keep me as an employee and that means I need to take care of myself. And so. That means I do still have one job. We'll see about my other job.
But my plans for the weekend were mostly to just sit around the house and rest and not do a single thing that's strenuous in any way shape or form, and then go to the doctor on Monday and see what they tell me. I'm going back to the clinic in Philly even though I was just there and had a rotten experience, because, like I said, they have everything on file for me there and I know I'll be able to see someone that day. I don't know how much they'll really be able to do other than refer me to some other doctor who will take three months to get an appointment with, but it's a start. I can't just sit here freaking out and doing nothing to get past this.
But also this weekend the contractors were coming to replace all the windows on the second floor - this is very important, because the house does not and is not going to have air conditioning, so it's important that the windows actually seal or the fans and whatever are going to be worthless. And I just didn't want to sit around the house with them here banging around and coming in and out of every room - my plan was just to be out all day. I was going to get Sima to drive me to AC and take a bus to the mall and shop for things that I actually need rather than cute clothes that I DONT need, but I'm definitely not doing that now.
I thought about knocking on Sima's door and seeing if I could just hang around down there, but I really just prefer to be alone when I'm feeling like shit. There are all kinds of things I could do that would keep me out of the house all day - I could go to the movie theatre and just see movies all day, even. But that still leaves me getting to the movie theatre. Which I could conceivably walk to, if I wasn't supposed to be resting and stuff. Then Bevan called and asked if I wanted to come over and play Rock Band for the afternoon before work again, and I thought about sitting around his house, but still - that's not me just sitting still and doing nothing, which is really the only thing I can think of that might help me. That and I don't really want to be around Bevan and everyone else when I feel so terrible, so I told him what my shoulder felt like, and he was like, "that is a pulled muscle, thats all, don't get too freaked out by it, you're not falling apart. Sit in a hot bath or put one of those heat compresses on your shoulder, it will feel better."
See, this is what happens when you ask me what's wrong, you get a very detailed description of exactly how shitty I feel.
Well I don't have a bath tub - I did, but when I got the upstairs bathroom re-done, I got just a shower with a slidy-door instead, because the bathroom up here is tiny to begin with and I wanted to have a little closet in there for towels and stuff - never did actually get the closet, either, there just wasn't enough room. But I didn't want to have a bathroom I was claustrophobic in, you know? And bathtubs are a bitch to clean, as well. Downstairs has a bathtub still (and downstairs is going to continue to have a bathtub even after it gets all remodeled, because I have discovered that I do indeed miss taking a bath every so often, and downstairs I think is going to be my residence for at least the next few years).
So now I have swallowed my pride (whatever, as if I had any anyway) and asked Sima to go to the store for me and get a box of those heat-up patch things for sore muscles, and whatever else might be on that shelf of the drugstore that looks like it would be good for a very sore shoulder. Sima will pretty much do anything I ask him to at the drop of a hat, and I totally feel like I'm taking advantage of him, and I feel really bad about that. But he drives my car all the time - and you know, I was thinking about it the other day, and I know he doesn't have insurance and I know I don't have insurance so... god forbid he ever gets pulled over. But that would be his problem, which makes it not my problem. Every time I think about just chancing it and driving my car without a license (or insurance or registration...) I think about how whenever something can go wrong for me, it inevitably does, and how if I ever want to get my license back, getting caught driving with a suspended license is NOT the way to do it...
Anyway Sima drives my car, and of course I'm not charging him and Patrice rent for April because I've informed them that when they move out in May they're also moving all my stuff downstairs for me, and their payment for that is a month's free rent, so... it's not like I'm really taking advantage of him, is it? Not if I'm paying him in some way for all these favors?
So I'm in my living room just curled up on the futon with loud banging and chaos all around me, trying very hard to download last night's Torchwood but failing miserably, because something is fucking with my connection, I have no idea what. I'm waiting for Sima to come back from the store, and putzing around on the internet for stuff to do. It's really, really gorgeous outside, and I think maybe later I'll go sit out on the balcony or something to get some of this fabulous sun - sunlight puts you in a better mood, right, it alters your brain's production of happy-chemicals or something like that, I think. If I was feeling better today might be another day to go sit on the beach or something - or near the beach, anyway, or maybe camp out in the other house, or something.
I guess what I can do that would be really productive would be to start shopping online for some shore-house-type furniture, because, well, summer is coming and the season is starting and if I want to make this whole income-property thing work, well, I have to have this all rentable by summer. Which is basically impossible, and how I'm really going to get everything done when I've been dicking around all winter instead of taking care of all this stuff, well, damned if I know.
The Man With A Thousand Voices Standing Perfectly Still
