Lara I.

I was re-reading my entries from two years ago (don't do it, if you're tempted, you won't like me any more because I was a whiny little shit) and I realized how many issues I had then.

Personally, I just wanted to smack myself. I hate people like that, always talking about how they don't like themselves. I like myself just fine now. I don't know when that happened... maybe it's the medication talking? But I'm myself, how does one dislike oneself??

I know I'm not perfect. I know I'm very far from it. But I am who I am and that's that. If I can't deal with that, how can I expect anyone else to?

This is my great revelation. Not a resolution (and yes I am echoing a very old entry), because no one keeps those anyway and it's the wrong end of the year for that - I mean a REVELATION, which is much more permanent than a resolution, because once you know something, once you understand something, you can't very well un-know and un-understand it, can you?

I like myself just fine. That's my grand revelation. How about that one?

And my end-of-year resolution is to post only good things until 2009. On New Year's Day 2009 I can post about whatever shit life can dish out, but until then, it's good things only.

Starting with:

Sun on a cold day and frost on the sand

White cranberry cosmopolitans with crushed ice and real cranberries

Playing "Happy Christmas" on the guitar

Car radio Christmas music and Starbuck's gingersnap lattes

Lit-up snowflakes and almost-full moons

Working in Atlantic City, which isn't really a city but is close enough

Someone to fall asleep next to.

また春に会いましょう