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And yes, I will continue to refer to spending the night with someone as a "sleepover." What of it? :P

I did the coolest thing. I've done one cool thing in the house so far. And it's made all the difference. This house is now MINE and I want to be here.

So this house has a really lovely bay window in the back. From the outside the window has like it's own little roof - there is no bay window above it upstairs or anything. From the very beginning I wanted to sleep in the bay window and have like a walled garden outside of it. Well, I have no garden and no wall BUT, for the past three nights I have been sleeping in the window.

Usually I sleep on the couch. If I sleep over at B's, well, he sleeps on a couch too but it has a bed in it, and we pull out the bed if I sleep over. I do have a bed here, and at the other house I had it set up like a platform bed with plywood and cinderblocks, but here the mattress has just been propped against a wall and I've been sleeping on the couch because that's where I usually am more comfortable sleeping anyway. I also have a futon I can fold down if B wants to sleep over with me but it's pretty uncomfortable for sleeping on so usually we don't do that.

Well. I have made this amazing discovery. There is a such thing as MEMORY FOAM and I am in love with it. So now? Now I have a new I-wish-I-was-a-platform bed set up in the bay window - my uncle cut more plywood for me so it sits right in the shape of the window and my mattress is on the board and then in the non-rectangular area I have stuffed foam and pillows and stuff (I know, ghetto, shush) and then, see, I did the most amazing thing. I bought a king-sized memory foam pad, cut it to fit the mattress and the rest of the non-rectangular space, and put it over the whole combination and so NOW I have a bay-window shaped memory foam bed and I AM IN LOVE.

The left over pieces of memory foam I piled up on the one end of the bed, because sometimes I'm more comfortable sleeping half sitting up (which is why I sleep on the couch a lot) and memory foam is freakin' amazing. I sleep so much better - I'm absolutely astounded at how much of a difference it is.

I'm never sleeping on the couch again. Seriously.
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I'm kind of between houses right now. Not sure which one to call my house... I'm kind of sitting in my front window right now, and yes, it is fucking cold outside, it has been snowing all morning but it is also sunny. It's kind of nice in a weird cold way. The house is totally empty, but, see, it still has internet connection. I needed my fix. Tomorrow is Friday and my new tenants are moving in, and hopefully by tomorrow internet at the other place should be all ready to go.

Ryan has been a huge help. He just kind of jumped right in and was like, well, this is all the stuff that needs to get done, this needs to be finished, this needs to go over here, if you do this like this it should work, and so on. Ryan is a lot like me - a lot, so much that I find it a little creepy. Of course we've known each other for our entire lives, but being that we didn't live near each other, we saw each other only a few times a year. We always got along famously - my parents and his parents used to joke that I had a crush on him, and, I don't know, maybe I did, that does sound like me, to have a crush on only one boy, and imagine that, he looks just like me. Cause I am that vain, you know.

He's the kind of person who likes to go. I may have traveled Europe, but he's traveled the entire United States and he's still doing it. He's got a job lined up in New England in another couple weeks, where he can snowboard to his heart's content, and then this summer he said his plans are just to "drive out west." I'm not going to lie - I'm mad jealous. Ryan is incredibly smart and very hard working and just not interested in being responsible for any thing in any way. I'm like that - or I want to be like that. I guess I am pretty responsible now, but, honestly, I'd rather just go.

He's also like me in that he's always got this huge plan, and he's always running and running and never stopping - he's working in the pizza shop again while he's home, and he's been doing stuff in the house pretty much non-stop, even all night, it's crazy, and he's doing it because it's there and he wants to do it - like, he never wants to stop, even for a minute. I don't mean he doesn't want to stop working on the house - he just doesn't want to stop. He likes to go.

Maybe the difference is that I'm always tired and chugging some energy drink or another, and he... I dunno how he does it. Maybe he sleeps more than I do or something. But he just goes under his own power. ANYWAY.

Ryan and I are scavenging masterminds and creative geniuses. I was pretty attached to the first house and sad to leave it but I have to say, the other house is gonna be pretty sweet. When it's finished. Who knows when that's actually going to happen - but for now it's not half bad. Any flak I've been getting about how my house is the place refrigerators go to die is totally unfounded. Ryan has done some very cool stuff with them.

The upstairs of the house is totally undone - it's just rooms, and the walls aren't even all up, and that's just completely stalled. I can't get anything else done up there until I have more money. The downstairs is done enough that I can live there but I definitely can't rent any part of it out. I meant it to be three bedrooms and one living room/kitchenette area, with each bedroom having a separate entrance, so that I can rent it out really flexibly, like, someone can just rent a bedroom for a few nights, or a whole family can rent the whole thing, so someone can rent two bedrooms and the kitchen area while someone else rents the other bedroom. Trying to maximize my profits here, see. Then the fourth bedroom, see, is supposed to have a kitchenette in it, and that's where I live, assuming that I'm still living here, and if I'm not, someone else can rent that spot too.

Well... for now I've just got the whole house, and the kitchen in the main room is the only one that's even there, and it's definitely not finished. But it'll do for now. So now... well, now I'm just in between and waiting, I guess. In May, when my tenants move out, I can really finish up the first floor of the first house, and then can definitely rent out both floors all summer. I can't do anything in the second house, except for whatever Ryan has been doing for free, because... yeah. Out of funds. For now.
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So I had a conversation with Erica this morning in the car on the way to work. I told her before that she could move the boxes in the extra bedroom up to the attic if she wanted to - she didn't want to, I guess, cause they're still in the extra bedroom and she doesn't go in there. Which... is understandable, since there really isn't anything in there. But her being around is kind of like the kick in the ass I needed to really get started finishing the house up. There are a lot of things I have just not been bothering with or putting off for whenever because it's been just me here - now she's here too so I feel like I have to step it up a notch or something.

This time I asked her to please take the boxes up to the attic :P

And she is the one who brought up paying rent again - I don't need rent money from her, and I can't even charge her rent in good conscience, considering what the house is like right now. But I need favors like you wouldn't believe. So she and I together are going to "finish" the extra bedroom, and her help is going to be considered rent, and then after it's finished if she really is going to keep living here then she can pay me rent.

I think that's fair, right?

So, it's yellow, white, and blue for the third bedroom. I never would have picked that, but that's what Erica picked, and I just don't really feel like contradicting her - it doesn't really matter, after this year, I'm not going to be living here anyway, and I'm definitely never staying in that bedroom. I'm sure it will be fine. I think I know where I can order some white wicker furniture, too - nice and beach-looking, and all that.

So, tomorrow is the wedding with B - that'd be the DATE )

So... I am really never going to know what's going on in his head. Unless I learn to read minds, or something. I don't think I can master that by tomorrow, though :P
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Well I think all my stuff is fixed now.

Broad statement, yes, I know. But it kind of seems to cover pretty much everything that's been going on.

So, my internet wasn't working. My speakers weren't working. Speakers on the laptop were fine, my SOUND SYSTEM was what was being buggy. That and my wireless, I mean, come on, really? I took my whole set up apart and put everything back together - no help. Tried some "process of elimination" type trials - thought maybe it was an electrical problem or something. That's really not my thing. Computers? Networks? Yes. Electrical stuff? No. Called Bevan. He came over to trouble shoot with me. He's pretty good with computers. Neither of us could figure out exactly what the problem was. He brought over a big box of spare electronics. I have a similar box. We re-wired and switched things around for a few hours. It was pretty fucking frustrating, and to top it all off, neither of us really figured out what was wrong. But the wireless works again, and so does the sound system, everything's just... put together a little differently.

I hate those kinds of solutions. They're completely unsatisfying. I'd rather figure out the problem and fix it from there. In fact, I'd almost prefer to find out the problem and realize it can't be fixed than be reduced to trying random things and just seeing what happens.

And I think there seems to be an intermittent in my power chord for the laptop. This hasn't been causing any of the above problems, but I kind of discovered it while trouble shooting. I never really noticed that my laptop doesn't always know it's plugged in. This could turn out to be a bigger problem than it is now. But whatever, I'll deal with that when it comes up.

Moving on. My car. My car is registered.

And what a story that is. )

I hate money. Not having it is the bane of my existence.

And, wtf, house, why did you eat Bevan's keys?
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I totally lied about the serious business part, of course. But all my bitching and moaning about being bored out here has been satiated, for now, I think.

First and foremost, my upstairs looks a thousand times better with painted walls. Yes, they were all ugly and patch-y all winter. Now every room is a different color. I am a big fan of colored walls. It wouldn't have occurred to me, ever, except for Daniel used to paint houses as his job and he always talked about what color rooms did what kinds of things to your brain and stuff, and I guess it rubbed off on me or something, because I was determined, from the very beginning, not to have a white wall in the whole place. And I don't. It looks so great. I'm so impressed with myself. Lol yeah right. I'm impressed with my painters. I didn't do much - I hardly did anything, really. And I spent... oh, I spent about a thousand dollars. But that includes the paint, too. And really, that ain't bad.

But you see... I can see myself preparing to spend another chunk of money on something totally unnecessary. It's a piece of electronics and I WANT IT.

Not buying it, though. Not this week, anyway.

So not buying it.

So I have neighbors, by the way )

...I can't believe there is a boy sleeping over at my house. That isn't Matt.

Does this mean that we're actually friends now?
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Well everything major is all packed up and organized. As of tomorrow afternoon I will now reside on the first floor. I will no longer contend with a flight of stairs every time I leave the house. I will also not have an automatic ride to work every night. But I'm dealing with that... there are a lot of people my age who don't drive around here. They somehow still leave the house. So I can do it too, right? I just have to get really good at finding rides. Which means I have to take really good care not to piss anyone off.

This is real. We're painting the upstairs this weekend. Then there will be carpet. And then the furniture is being delivered. I took Ruth up on her offer and she is taking me shopping for house things next week. She is super excited. She can't wait. I think she might be a compulsive shopper or something. We'll see.

In another month the trolley will be running. I totally forgot about the trolley. It won't get me to work at the restaurant but it will get me to the coffee co's second store. But I'm still trying to resist that.

In another month people will be renting my upstairs. My income will finally exceed my expenditure. Well, no, really it wont. Because I'll still be spending. If all goes according to plan, by next summer I should be able to live in the other house and rent both floors of this house. And the other house is such a freakin' mess, I'm not even legally allowed to live there. It is non-livable.

But this is still real.

So tonight I finally got sick of my stupid looking half-done hair. Underneath it was maroon with black tips and on top it was pale yellow with orang-y tips. This is because it was all maroon with black tips, and had been for a while, but I decided one day I wanted it to be white. So I bleached the top half, and then never finished it. Tonight I re-bleached, getting the underside to a nice yellow and the top half not much lighter of a yellow than it already was. Then I wrapped it up in saran wrap and toner for about three hours. Then I got out the scissors and gave myself a serious hair cut - I cut off all the stubborn hair that was once the black tips. That was screwing me up, I think. Black dye is insidious. Then of course, I had to keep cutting it until it looked like a haircut and not, you know, a hack job. It's pretty short now. But then I re-did it with blue toner, and now - now it's definitely platinum blonde. It's not white yet, but I need to stop for now, or my hair is gonna freakin' fall out.


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So I went and sat on the edge of the beach today and drew for a few hours, it was really nice. Even though it was warm and sunny outside it was still pretty cool, especially closer to the water like I was, so eventually I got cold and went home.

When I got back my download was finished and I got to watch the Pompeii episode!

I'm not going to review the whole thing, or spoil anyone, but I was thoroughly impressed. Season three started off with me being seriously skeptical. Season four is doing just peachy, as far as I'm concerned.

So now I'm hardcore obsessing about paint. My kitchen floor is black and beige tiles. Big beige ones and small black ones. They have like a stone-ish texture. Same kind of thing on the wall above the counters. I wanted shiny black and white tiles so I could do it all nineteen fifties-ish, which would have been fab, but, really, white tiles? Shiny white tiles? So, what, I'll have to scrub them with bleach to keep them white, and rub them with mop and glo to keep them shiny? Yeah I think maybe not. If this was my house, that I was going to be living in, then yeah, maybe. For renters? No way. Carpet (eventually) is gonna be a beige-taupe kinda color. Like dirt. So it doesn't show dirt. And it's going to be the burbur kind of carpet, so it doesn't get all visibly worn and stuff.

So I have been debating about what colors I want the rooms. I've had it in my head that I want the living room to be a sort of pale baby blue color, lighter and more pastel than the outside of the house, which is a sort of blue-slate color. I also had this idea that I wanted my shutters to be maroon instead of white, but I'm not even going to go there. They're white and I'm not touching them and that's that. So the living room and the "dining room" share a wall, and the "dining room" shares a wall with the kitchen. Long ago I wanted the kitchen to be like sea foam green, to go with the black and white tiles, but of course that is not the case. So, I guess it should be blue to match the rest of the front half of the house. Except, I don't want it to be blue. But, I don't want it to clash either. I was thinking maybe a darker blue (and this is just a very little bit of wall we're talking here, so I don't know why it being blue is bugging me so much) or maybe even light grey - I don't know.

The bathroom really is going to be sea foam green, cause that's a great color. Maybe the kitchen should match the hallway? Cause I don't want the hallway to be blue like the living room/dining room either... I want the biggest bedroom to be peach walls with green accents. The smallest bedroom can be yellow walls with like cream and pink. I dunno about the middle room - I already did blue and green and yellow and peach, what does that really leave? I can't do purple, I hate purple walls. Maybe the kitchen and the hallway walls should be beige-sand colored, and the middle bedroom should be slate blue like the outside of the house - I have white curtains for that room, that would probably be nice. I'm not sure. It has to look really fab, though, because people are (ideally) gonna pay big money to stay here.

John said he'd go with me to get all the paint sometime this week - he's a waiter at the restaurant, and he's always asking me if I need stuff done around my house, and totally jumped on my "omg paint for me!!" sign. Apparently people always ask him to help them out but no one ever offers to pay, they think it should just be a favor from a friend. Well, friend or no, if someone does something you'd pay anyone else to do, well, you should pay them. Anyway, he's painted lots of houses, so hopefully he can be a good judge of how much paint too get.

He said he might bring Ruth along, if that's okay with me, because he said "she likes that kind of shit" I guess meaning decorating. I know Ruth owns a house on the island too. Maybe it would be good to have her advice, I should probably take her up on that.

I always feel kinda awkward around those two. One, they're both in their thirties, and they pretty much act like teenagers, as far as I've seen. That and, they're both obviously screwing each other, and Ruth is married to some other dude. So that's just kinda odd. But whatever.

Oh PS. I paid my taxes. Yes, I really did. I didn't spend all the money I have on stupid shit and have none left over for taxes. I seem to recall something about my mother insisting I was going to do that. Well, so there, mom. I didn't.
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Well, so, lets see, today I went back to sleep around ten this morning and got up again at four - I think I've sufficiently caught up on any sleep I've been missing.

I had scrambled eggs for dinner.

I watched my Doctor Who download once more.

Took my pills. The new ones.

My shoulder still hurts but feels much better than it did before, so I guess that means the muscles were all tight?

Well I guess that's better than, oh, I don't know, the cartilage being fucked up or something, or any other disaster I could dream up, whatever, I'm tired of being this messed up.

I've got one more day before I go back to work. I guess I've got to say something to Shaina about freaking out on her last week, but I don't know if I can scrounge up an apology, because frankly, I'm not really sorry. Maybe she will just pretend like nothing happened. Well, wait, maybe she'll act pissy with me for a few days, and then she'll pretend like nothing happened. That would be a very Shaina thing to do.

I guess we'll see.

Oh curtains! Curtains. They came in the mail today. Curtains for up here, and curtains for downstairs too. So when upstairs is for rent, I can pull the curtains closed over the downstairs and no one will ever know what a mess it is down there, lol. They're all in a pile by the door. They can stay there for a while, I really have no plans to move them until it's time to make everything all pretty in here. And we're not even remotely close to that yet. And by 'we' of course I mean 'I.'

Aaaaand that's about it.
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First, a meme from [livejournal.com profile] ithidrial

1. My username is ______ because ______.

Lara_Everlong, because my first name is Lara, and I deeply adore the Foo Fighters.

2. My name is _____ because ______.

My real name, in case (just in case!) anyone from RL is looking for me, they can find my journal and know that I am still a part of existence. As far as I know, this has never happened. But I hold out hope.

3. My journal is titled ____ because ____.

Come Down, because it references the Foo Fighters song that I used for my LJ handle. And because when I started this journal, I was feeling pretty much on the bottom of the world. I've thought about changing it, though, because really, I'm not permanently down there, even if I felt that way when I named the journal.

4. My friends page is called ____ because ____.

Out Of Her Head She Sang, because even though in theory I know all the people on LJ are real people, sometimes it all seems like this elaborate made up place.

5. My default userpic is ____ because ____.

Well, that's Billie Piper, she plays Rose in Doctor Who, and she's my default icon because I like her :P I like her because she isn't perfect, because she's had an incredible life, and she didn't get a happy ending.

And now for the rest, which I promise is not depressing or full of rage. )

I guess what I can do that would be really productive would be to start shopping online for some shore-house-type furniture, because, well, summer is coming and the season is starting and if I want to make this whole income-property thing work, well, I have to have this all rentable by summer. Which is basically impossible, and how I'm really going to get everything done when I've been dicking around all winter instead of taking care of all this stuff, well, damned if I know.

The Man With A Thousand Voices Standing Perfectly Still

Waking Up

Feb. 24th, 2008 10:52 am
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Waking up to the sun shining all kinds of bright and reflecting off the snow is a hell of a lot better than waking up to an opaque sky and a weird grey light in the room because it's actually snowing.

So, it's Sunday, I have a big gaping hole in the side of my house where there's supposed to be a kitchen, I stayed up late last night painting designs on some leftover tiles because I felt like it, because I have this delusion that I'm an artist, because once upon a time I decided I wanted to be an artist when I grew up and here I am grown up... ready to get "dressed" for work when "dressed" means a polo shirt and a name tag...

No, seriously, I am in a better mood than I sound like. Like I said, the sun is out and it isn't snowing today.

And because it's Sunday nobody is here working on the kitchen, and by next Sunday it should be fully functional, and I've changed my plan a bit. Once the kitchen is finished I'm having the bathroom fixed up. I've already taken care of the walls and then the last thing I want to do is have the windows all replaced - then I'm switching apartments with Sima and Patrice. They can live up here, I am going back to living downstairs and I really, really want to have the place ready for summer. Just one apartment. Just one. I don't know. I'm trying.


Feb. 22nd, 2008 06:02 pm
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Lalala no kitchen but soon!
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It has been, actually. For someone who lives practically on a beach, anyway.

Today after work I went to the other house and sat in it and daydreamed for a little while about living in it and having an awesome life and stuff. I had this brilliant idea that the part I would live in would have the east-facing wall made entirely of windows, and look out on a walled-in private garden with like a fountain and exotic plants and lanterns and stuff, and that maybe I would sleep in a bed that fit inside a bay window and that part of the ceiling would be glass so if I woke up looking up I would see the sky... and then I had this idea that to get to that part of the house, I could either unlock a door in the garden wall and go in that way, or I could go in the front door and then go in a secret door that only I knew about, like, pull a book out of a shelf and have the bookshelves slide open or something.

Hey, if that's what I really want, I could do that, right? There is, probably, a way to rig something like that, right?

Right. So, how about if I focus on having a full-sized refrigerator, oven, stove, microwave, dishwasher, garbage disposal, granite countertops, and decently made cabinets and oh yeah, some tiles on the floor would be great. Yeah. I'll start with that.

I can't believe I ever thought I'd have ANY of this done by summer. Hell, I might not even finish this floor by summer.

But anyway. This afternoon I went and sat in the other, gutted, falling down house and looked at the water, and then I went and sat on this little bench at the very edge of the beach, you know, where there's like a wooden path through the sand. I really hate the beach but I rather like the water. It's soothing to look at and to listen to.

And then after work tonight I went to a bar in Wildwood with a few coworkers, and got driven home by a drunk person. Hey, there's nothing better than driving drunk yourself, right? They were all going to a diner afterwards but my ride was going home, so, home I came, too. And here I am.

The End.
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I just woke up.

Aren't I just the loser? Seriously. It's quarter after four in the afternoon. Nobody's here, I can tell, my car isn't outside and it's completely silent downstairs.

So I was thinking about going back to dying my hair platinum. Not platinum blonde- real platinum, like silver-white. It's been maroon-ish for a while now, maybe it's time for a change. Although, I don't know. With all the focus on trying to be healthy and all, maybe I don't want to go messing with all that bleach again. I'm really indecisive. I just know I'm getting tired of my hair the way it is, and god forbid I actually let it grow out naturally (whatever that looks like)

I was also thinking that I need to get a move on with this house. I have some contractors coming in to do the kitchen in two weeks - very exciting! The bathroom is already done - those are the two major things, I believe. I want to have the whole floor ready to rent by summer, which means that by summer I will be living downstairs again, and my tenants will be leaving. They know that, they've always known that, apparently that's just the way it is here, everyone moves twice a year - somewhere nice in the winter, somewhere crappy during tourist season.

But see... when they leave, um, who is going to drive me to work?

Why am I such a fucking idiot, anyway?

Whatever, I'll deal with that when it comes time. Maybe I can apply for a restricted work license or something like that.

I was talking to another hostess at the restaurant last night and she made the observation that a lot of people who used to be hard core into drugs are now hard core into medications, like anxiety pills and antidepressants and mood stabilizers and such. That does seem to be true and I always assumed that those are reasons people get into drugs in the first place - they're unhappy and trying to fix it. But I started wondering about the flip side - I wonder if excessive drug use actually damages your personality, so that to be normally functional again without drugs, you need other drugs to keep you stable?

But whatever. I hate talking about drugs.


Aug. 13th, 2007 11:44 pm
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And so. This has been a very eventful summer. And I say that with the utmost seriousness.

Some things have happened.

I own two houses. I inherited them from my grandparents. I had no idea this was going to happen. I don't know if all the grandchildren inherited hugely valuable things, or if it was only me because I'm the one who was there for them these past few years, but my family is so screwed up and uncommunicative that it is unlikely I will ever find out.

I did not go to the funeral, by the way. I assumed that my parents would be there and I did not want to see them.

So, these two houses: it would have been worth my while to just sell the properties and take the money. But I'm really, really bad with holding on to money, and I'm really, really good at racking up debt. In fact, I just racked up some debt just now: I took out a loan, a big one. A really huge one: I have more money now than I ever have in my entire life. But see, I own two properties. So the bank was basically like, sure, we'll give you whatever you want!

The bigger house, the most disasterous one, is going to be gutted and totally re-done, competely. The other one, well, I have been/am in the process of using the money I have to slowly turn it into a real house as opposed to like a disaster of a falling down building. Actually, two houses. I'm just working on the first floor for now. And yes, I am still here in New Jersey, and yes, I have been sort of living in the one house.

I've also been sort of living with Krissy. I don't actually see her much because she is doing her ER rotation this summer, or whatever. But she gave me a key to her place, so I have been putting it to good use, even if it just means her coming home to find me already passed the fuck out in her bed.

Like I said, it's been fun. Sigh. I'm getting old. I really am. I was inspecting my face for wrinkles the other day. I didn't find any; just the regular old dark circles under my eyes and they've been there for a while. Every so often I look at myself and think, well, I guess I'm fairly attractive, if nothing else, but really, there's got to be more to it than that. There's lots of attractive girls out there, more attractive than me, and they're like, healthy and normal and stuff and don't whine and moan all the time and fuck their lives up at every turn. So I'd better keep that 1000 watt charm beaming brightly, or she's gonna get real sick of me real fast.

And sick, did I mention sick? I've been sick this summer. Legitimately sick, and too stupid to know it. I guess I've spent so much time just trying to ignore pain that I've lost the common sense to think, hey, if I hurt, something must be wrong.

I have a job; I am a hostess at a restaurant on the other side of the bay. Was a good move, getting a job there, cause there are lots of nice servers looking for extra money who can do things like fix up a house. They're worked as contractors before, and stuff, and everyone always needs a little extra money here and there. Conveniently, I even have the funds to pay them. And I help where I can - I painted the porch railing, lol. It's been hot and I've been sick and I have money and the money is specifically for fixing up the houses so... still I feel like a huge bum and a huge diva for just sitting around directing people on how I want things done.

And... I made a couple friends, or friendly aquaintences, anyway, at the restaurant, just a couple girls who like to invite me out for drinks every so often. I know, I know, I said I was done with having friends, but I said I was done with having girlfriends too and it seems I kinda sorta maybe somewhat have one, sort of. Anyway, we're not close or anything and maybe it'll be different, maybe I'm not so toxic of a friend when I have my own couch to sleep on.

Who knows?


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Lara I.

October 2012

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