Nov. 6th, 2008

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Erica is still here. I'm thinking Erica doesn't have a job any more since she worked for the campaigns... I would rather she not be here right now. I don't even mean not living here - I'm not sure about that yet, but that's not what I meant. I just want the house to myself because I'm fucking miserable and I'm sure I'm being a bitch. She keeps trying to have a conversation with me and I keep telling her to leave me the fuck alone.

She's washing the dishes right now, I can hear her. I think she wanted to clean to give herself something to do and to prove she's a decent housemate, but of course I cleaned everything under the sun yesterday when I was mad.

I'm not mad anymore. I got over that. I mean, I can only spend so much time being angry about things that I can't change. It's just a waste of energy, and I never seem to have enough of that as it is. I don't know how the rest of the world does it - I feel like I'm always pushed to my very limits, mentally, emotionally, physically, everything. I'm just permanently exhausted. I guess I'm getting old or something.

Cut because I keep going about getting old and falling apart. )

I think I'm going to watch the last two episodes of "Life on Mars," which I've kind of been saving for a good time to watch them both together. And try to relax and chill out. Or something.

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Lara I.

October 2012

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